Too hot to handle ....

So there I am, reading th Sun on the way to work and Jennifer Ellison says she has had sex in the most outrageous of places. The kitchen and the bathroom. Blimey, hold on girl ... you may get to do it in the living room next. She then says she has a high sex drive, but is too scared to do it outdoors ... she's paranoid about CCTV cameras.

Whooooosh ...

So tonight is the UEFA fair play draw. Two places, twelve teams ... can't see it happening myself, but you have to hold onto thoses little bits of hope.

So the English footie team have landed in Portugal, with their hamper of rice pudding, malt loaf, salad cream and trampolines. TRAMPOLINES, blimey I can see Becks now. Maybe not.

What a day yesterday in the sun eh. The sun shone, the trains fcuked up, all da bigtatty gals were out and about. Heaven in the afternoon eh, quality.

How often do people get their eyes tested? I haven't for a couple of years now, so I may have to go and sort it. It's one of those things.

My tune of the day: Money don't mean a thing - Dwele