Sea lions and bleedin Coco the Clown ...

Indeed. It appeared that aliens came down to earth kidnapped the England Football Squad and replaced them with a set of Clowns in an experiment that would test the patience of the best of us. We had a line up including Rio, Becks, Rooneeeeee, Joseph Cole. Now tell me, what's the average weekly wage here. Shed loads, yes, no? But last night it appeared that what we had was a set of players that couldn't be bothered, couldn't motivate themselves, couldn't kick it, (yes they can) ... or even act like they cared. Gerrard was a pale imitation of the Liverpool player, Lumpard was overweight, and outfought by Tommy Gravesen, Cole of the J variety kept cutting back onto his right foot ... and Becks was concentrating on his hair more than his flare. The funniest moment though was at the end of the game. When being interviewed David James said that he wasn't mentally prepared for the game. Well I had to have a little sit down then. He's a footballer, that's what he does. So when would be be prepared? Have I missed something here? Thank the lord that Darren didn't have to get off the bench for this one. His time will come.

Right, after that shambles I turned over and watched the Channel 4 blockbuster !!!! LOST.

I'm not sure what it's all about, but what I did learn is that the Americans can still make shmultsey, cringeworthy TV. The end bit when Walt finds his dog, to a soft rock accompaniment is ... well you get me. Yes, I'll be watching, but it is surprising that the BBC can't make such stirling TV. Extras my ass.

It just dawned on me that I've never seen Wigan play football. That'll be a new team. It must be my first new team since er, Yeovil last year. But they do have Jason Roberts up front. I wonder what sort of game the centre halves will be expecting?

Oh back to England. How does Glen Johnson get a game? He doesn't even play for Chelskov. It makes a mockery of actually picking players that can do a job. Jeez, just let me get over it. Anyway at least Romm scored.

Guess what? I'm really happy with the Sony Ericsson K750i. The camera is good and it actual does what it says on the tin. Whoooosh.

My tune of the day: New York House - Marlon D