It's a funny old game ...

We've all scored them. You know, you're 25 yards out you swing your boot and it flies into the corner. Cue Peter Crouch. Yep the Robot is going to win England the World Cup.

More fun and games down in SE7 as Chris Perry is shown the door. This is the same Chris Perry who cost 100k a couple of years ago, and has been worth every penny. When you see the likes of Sorondo it does make you wonder.

We've now been told Bothroyd has left. Blimey, what with JJ, Bartlett and Jetters leaving we're a bit short up front!!!! We'll we were short with them in the squad. That leaves the way open for Kevin Lisbie.

After fretting that Lost had lost its spark, I was pleasantly surprised last night. The show was spot on, back to it's best without the bleedin hatch.

The posh twat has left Big Brother.Or so I have read in the paper. I've not watched it. It's crap, boring and full of idjuts. Can't they put Simon Jordan in there?

Here's a question for you. Do any of you know any websites that do cheap flights? Ideally to Newark.

My tune of the day: Touch - Amerie

Bish ... bash ... bosh

Well that's the long weekend over. A day in the rain on Saturday, was superceded by a day on a boat, whibbley wobblying around, drinking, dancing and generally having a great time. Bow ties re where it's at .... trust me.

It was a funny sort of weekend. The rain made it like October not May, and there was a dampness in the air. Selfridges was full of sodden gliteratzi, preening themselves ... oh how I rocked in my tight green trackies and brown shoes.

Well I got the text at 11:58 ... Iain Dowie, Lucky Les and Mark Robson (the best crosser in the club) are the new dream team. Gerry called at 12:45 to tell me it's live on Sky. I replied it was at 12, noon. No not the conference, the baliff trying to serve Dowie with a writ. Oh the Orange one ... he's very bitter isn't he? Take a deep breath Si ...

I ate loads of crisps yesterday. Too many if I'm honest. As I slumbered trying to watch the Sound of Music. Isn't that what Bank Holidays are all about?

It seems like Michael Owen has a slight injury. This means Croucky will play against the Magyars tonight. Andy Johnson must be loving every moment. It looks like a World Cup place and a move away from Palarse.

Did I mention that the West Indies have won a one day series. It must be the first since the World Cup in 83!!!! Bring on Monty and his mob.

I need to go to the gym ... Body Pump here I come ...

My tune of the day: War - Edwin Starr

It's Tuesday then ...

So watch this space

Only by name ...

Is it me or was that England team put out last night a "B" team by name only? There were players there striving to be included in the team when they kick off aginst Paraguay in a few weeks time. I suppose only Aaron Lennon did himself any favours, but hey it was all abit fizzy pop and no substance. They keep showing a backheel that went to the keeper ... !!!!! You have to feel sorry for Robert Green. A year underperforming at Norwich and now this. He scuffed his clearance, thwacked his foot on the floor, bulled his groin the Belarus player scored and he's carried off in a dustbin. As the headlines said ... Bela - rubbish.

So it's the second test and the heavens have opened in Brum. It's not even funny. The sun should be shinning, they should be playing on a wicket like a piece of glass and there should be 400 on the board.

It's the Bank Holiday weekend. Huuurrraaahhh. Three days, how good is that. Well Four may be better.

I could only find the Afro Ken umbrella this morning. That does make me chuckle.

Its the boat party on Sunday ... ships ahoy.

My tune of the day: You are so beautiful - Billy Preston

Ignorance is bliss ...

It dawned on me that I was infact watching car crash TV last night. Yes, year on year Big Bro gets worst, that's because they have to keep on scrapping the bottom of the barrel to find these people. Supposedly that Imogen has been kept warm for months. They were going to put her in Celebrity, but Chantelle got their first. I was told she was humourous, witty and would make this show special ... special needs more like it. I can't work out how Bonnie and Glyn made it through the audition!!!!! What have they brought to the party?

It now appears Dawn has walked off the show ... the end of the line can't be far away.

On the footie front it appears we are well and truely fuked. Seems like our Billy doesnt want to move South and we'll be left with Iain Dowie. A Palace reject, is this what it's come to. Go and offer the job to Keith Peacock with Alan Curbishley upstairs. See if they will do it.

Oh back to Big Brother. Have you noticed how their isn't a Black Male on the show. What too confrontational? I did wonder.

My tune of the day: Vulture - Labi Siffre

Big Brother

I have to say this show has finally run it's course. I haven't really been watching it, Soccer Aid is much better, but I watched it tonight when I witnessed a group assassination of one person. Group Bullying, intimidation, total bollocks really. It's a game show ... Shabbaz was playing the game. I'd have to say that I'd have lasted a day in that place with those fukwits.

Exclusive - World Cup Squad Selection

Nancy swished into the breakfast bar in her sheer black silk dressing
gown, neatly cut to the thigh and dropped a brochure in front of Sven.
"The Old Walled Cottage", it said.

"Vat is this?" asked Sven, peering at it.

"It is the perfect geddaway for after the World Cup. Verra, verra high
walls so no sneakin paparazzi canna see us makin' wild passionate
love", she said, "Hey, Sven, whaddaya doin' wiv the breakfast tings?"


"I am finalising ze squad fer the Werld Cup", said Sven, neatly tricked
out in his paisley dressing gown, sipping fresh orange juice.

"Wassat, then?" asked Nancy, pointing to a row of neatly lined up
boiled eggs.

"That is a defensive wall, Nancy", replied Sven, primly, before
shouting, "Hey Tord, more boiled eggs".

Tord Grip bustled into the room, in waiter's outfit, carrying more
boiled eggs and toast. "Here you go boss". He stopped, startled. "Hey
she's just bashed in Ledley King's head! And now she's a eatin' his brains."

Sven looked sadly at the hole in his wall and then at Nancy poking at
the broken egg with a toast soldier. "It's a sign, Tord", he said.
"We'll take Campbell". He moved a large pepperpot into the wall.

"Now whatsa this?" asked Nancy, pointing at an array of knives and
forks, spread over much of the table top.

"Those, Nancy, are my offensive tactics," he pointed to a knife, "This
is Shaun Wright-Phillips and this is Darren Bent. I intend to use them
in combination to spread fear and alarm ..."

"Faria Alam!" screeched Nancy, lurching forward to grab the unfortunate
offensive duo and hurling them at Sven's head. Sven coolly ducked just
in time, and the knives embedded themselves in a picture of the FA
management team, circa 2002. "Don't a you mention the name of that woman to me!"

Sven peered at the quivering knives and nodded his head slightly.
"Tord, we will not take Bent or Wright-Phillips, the omens are not
good. And can you get me some more strikers."

"OK", said Tord. "Steve!".

Steve Maclaren stuck his head out of the serving hatch, looking flushed
with his chef's hat awry. "Yes?"

"More strikers for the boss."

"Ah, Nancy at it again?"

"Yep".

"Who do you want?"

"Who you got left".

"I'll go check", Steve, ducked back into the kitchen.

Meanwhile Sven had calmed the quivering Nancy. "OK", she said,
"Whaddabout the toast?"

"The toast lays out my formation for the first round," he looked at
Nancy sadly. "Nancy, you hav eaten Jermaine Defoe's left leg. 'Ow can I
take a striker wiv no left leg?"

Nancy shrugged, and munched on the unfortunate striker's other lower limb.
"P'raps you need to change your formation." She indicated a marmite
covered soldier. "Why not push Cole forward, ee's a goal scorer
no?"

Sven threw his hands in the air in excitement.

"Eureka!" he exclaimed.


Nancy shreaked. "Don't a you mention the name of that Swedish trollop
to me," and grabbing hold of Andy Johnson by the handle started chasing
Sven around the table, pausing only to hurl a bottle of HP sauce across
the room.

Eventually Sven managed to calm the irate Italian: "So you see Nancy, I
was calling you a genius".

Nancy's eye's narrowed - "You asure you not going after some Greek
floozy now?"

"No, Nancy, but now I need another striker".

Tord re-entered the room and set down a tray of bacon and eggs. Looking
down he gasped.


"Boss, look".

Sven walked over to look down at the table to where his assistant was
staring. It was Nancy's advertisement for their post-Cup hidaway. But
where before it had said:

THE OLD WALLED COTTAGE

It was now stained with HP sauce from Nancy's attack and what was left
revealed:

THE O** WAL*** COTT***

Sven looked at Tord. Tord looked at Sven. In unison they chimed:

"It's a sign!"

**********

Go on then, you find a better explanation

It's all about body language ...







And not floppy hair and a perma tan.

The weather becomes more and more a bone of contention. Can we just have a week of sun shine. Is it too much to ask for?

I'm not feeling it today ....

My tune of the day: I believe in You - Amp Fiddler

Summer Holiday ...

HOSE PIPE BAN ... WATER SHORTAGE ...water meters ...ARE THEY FUCKIN SERIOUS.

I saw this comment on the Faith Board, oh it did make me chuckle. It's like winter ...

Still no news on a new manager. It actually getting boring.

I had a drunken night out at the Player on Friday. It's been a good few months since, I had a Friday out. Gin and Tonics rock.

Why do people refuse to move down the trains? The 7:54 this morning saw a group of numpties standing in the doorway, whilst the rest of the carriage was empty. When you ask to be let past they give you a look, so the only thing to do is barge past. It makes my morning. It was pissing with rain, so the whole carriage stunk of wet people!!!!

It's the bank holiday next Monday ... ho hum.

My tune of the day: Mr. Bojangles - John Holt

What the difference a day makes ....

Well this time yesterday we could only summise. Who would it be, would they have the rlevant experience etc, etc ...

Well now we know.

It's that freeking, geeking Big Brother. As much as I don't want to watch, there I was, PJ's and Mug of tea, squirming as they brought each and every one in. What I thought though was the need for a normal person. Just a normal, two up, two down ... football loving, beer drinking, South Londoner. Well that's normal to me. Thirteen weeks and counting.

I was watching Sky Sports News last night as the breaking news flashed across the bottom of the screen. Peter Taylor pulls out of the race to be the next Charlton boss. A little later they had him on the phone, saying how the more he thought about it the more he didn't want to be considered. All too public for my liking, but hey Pete has to be seen to be doing the right thing.

I did smile at Richard Hunts take on things. From the Pink Oboe list -

"Maybe he is insecure about his abilities, and once he had been to the interview and realised what is needed to manage a mid size Prem club he got cold feet. Happens in all kinds of management recruitment. I see it every week."

How many of you have managers that don't have the first idea about managing? They seem to have fallen into the possitions with no management skills at all, and it appears they don't want to learn any. Look after your staff ... not ruddy likely.

Anyway, for what ever reason Peter the Taylor is no more, if he ever was ... and now we can turn to Billy Davies and Sammy Lee. I was trying to think of that old Liverpool Sammy Lee song. I asked the boss here who says he is a Liverpool fan. He didn't know who Sammy Lee was!!!!!! It amazes me sometimes.

It's the late May bank holiday next weekend. The last one before the late August one. Where does the bleedin year go? Timbo's down and it's the boat party. It was the kilt last year, so I've got to find an outfit that out does that one ... it may be hard. But I'll give it a go.

Seems like Thierry is going to stay ... a big fish in a little pond me thinks. Test yourself against the best in the World Thierry, or play against Linvoy Primus ... the choice is yours.

I can't believe the weather. It's cold and wet and we have a drought alert.

My tune of the day: What a Difference a Day Makes - Dinah Washington

  

  

Heroic !!!!!

Well that's the lead story in the Standard. Arsenal by all accounts were heroic!!! Maybe I was watching a different match.

To start with Thierry Henry, who the Standard labellled the best player in the world missed two gilt edged chances. They then bleated on about an offside goal which was definately onside. The keeper got sent off for a professional foul. He didnt have to make the challenge, he could have stood on his feet tried to put the player off, but NO .. he brought him down ... end off ... a straight red card. You live by the sword ... you, well you all know.

I sat there watching Arsenal defend the lead and you always knew that chances would come. As soon as it went 1-1 the game was up.

Oh and another thing, Eboue dived to win the freekick from which thy scored. No castigation there then ... bloody typical I say.

What goes beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep ... ????

The Arsenal open top bus reversing back into the garage.

Still no news on the new manager front!!!!! It's getting a bit boring I can tell you.
At least we have BB to beat the boredom, come this evening. I can't wait ...

My tune of the day: Batmacumba - Gilberto Gil

Is it me ...

that find the fact that Chelsea have signed Michael Ballack on a reputed £130k a week disgusting!!!! At what point is a footballer worth this as well as a £2million pound signing on fee? It's football, it's not a heart surgeon, or a politician.

The champions league final ... hmmmph. I quite like Arsenal as a team. I can admire Bergkamp, Henry ... but do despise their fans. The spiel sanctimonious tosh, look down on you because you support a real team, and live in North London the land of dogs on string and a need for a wash. Come on Barca, just put these idiots in their place.

It all seems to be a bit negative re Peter Taylor. There's been a shed load of Leicestershire fans on the Netaddicks board saying how he ruined their club. It's hard to disagree not knowing all the facts, but come on ... I've got faith in the man up stairs. Richard Murray that is.

It's the start of Big Brother on Thursday. I hate Big Brother, and intend not to watch. That made me chuckle anyway.

My tune of the day: I Like Old School - Miguel Picasso

Living it large ...

I took the day off yesterday,not to get over the fact that Peter Taylor is favourite with the bookies, but to get over my meal at the Fat Duck on Sunday. I went for the tasting menu which contained in no particular order: -

SNAIL PORRIDGE, SARDINE ON TOAST SORBET, SALMON POACHED WITH LIQUORICE, MANGO AND DOUGLAS FIR PUREE, CARROT AND ORANGE TUILE, SMOKED BACON AND EGG ICE CREAM AND HOT AND COLD TEA.

It was a remarkable meal, 14 courses all in all and come the end which was 4.5 hours down the line I was stuffed. I somehow managed to get back to South London, without falling into a deep sleep. I nodded off on the train but was woken up by a family of Chavs discussing STD's. You couldn't make it up.

I ended up going to see the Blue Man Group yesterday. Very strange all round, but all very enjoyable. Lots of drumming, painting, strobelights and paper. You have to go and see it.

My tune of the day: What Makes the World Go Round - Stephanie Cooke

It's hot

Hotter than July even ... but do you realise that it's going to rain tomorrow. Especially for the cup final ... happy days.

I had macaroni cheese for my dinner last night. It would have been tea oop North and I would have had a cheese sandwich for my dinner. But in effect I had a cheese sandwich for my lunch and the maccaroni cheese for my dinner, not my tea!!!!! What is that all about?

It's the FA Cup final tomorrow. Liverpool v West Ham. I think i'm going to paint a wall. That's got to be better than watching that old bunkum, or having a barbeque and watching that old bunkem.

This time last week I was in the Sands having my first drink of the weekend. How time flies.

Still no news on the new manager, but I did get a text about the Elton John concert. Not for me, not for me.

My tune of the day: Space Talk - Masters Of The Universe

Twack, crack .. twat

It's the start of the Cricket season ... 130ish for one, ho hum. Will the match last til Saturday?

Seems like Liverpool will be replacing the stolen FA Cup final tickets. The FA are blaming them for sending the tickets out insecurely ... bad admin, well I never.

Boro got a good seeing too. Just goes to show how poor we really are. Stuart Downing, World Class!!!!! Well we'll never win the World Cup with Downing and Crouch in the team.

Bloody Blogger, I'm always losing half the stuff I write. That's what I say anyway.

It appears that Peter Taylor is the name being mentioned in regards to the Charlton hotseat. That may suit Benty who worked with Taylor in the England Under 21's. Here's hoping that its all good for Benty.

I was chatting at lunchtime about Bum bags. I'm thinking that they are going to be the accessory of the summer. What do you think?

My tune of the day: King Of The Beats - Mantronix

Need a shave

A picture from Southport. Saturday afternoons wont be the same.

Blow me down

There's a story out there that 1600 Cup Final tickets have been stolen. The FA or the Millenium Stadium or someone who's up their own ass won't replace the tickets. So some poor sod who's paid maybe £75 for a ticket is left with nothing!!!! How does that work. Surely the tickets are insured, and the Post Office would have to reimburse people? Say that was me. Charlton had got to the Final, I know ... I know, but I had been told my ticket had been lost and I wouldn't be getting a replacement. WTF. I'd be asking a few questions.

The sun is shinning and it's quite hot. Don't you just love days like this?

I'm going for an ice cream ...

My tune of the day: Useless - Kerri Chandler

Room with a view

So there you have it, Byron Stingley dressed to impress, doing his best to give us a sound that means so much to many people. Byron Stingley has been at the forfront of "House" for 20 years and his performance on Sunday afternoon was top draw.

The weekender has come and gone, 4 days of drinking, smiling, music, people, laughing, and House. Even Ginge enjoyed himself, now that must be a first.

The funniest thing was speaking to some Scousers on Saturday who thought that Charlton could do them a favour on Sunday and beat UManU meanning theyu could steal second place. I laughed, and said no chance ... it's great to be able to know your team. It appears that Vince may have got thrown out, or even arrested ... not sure of the details. It was also funny being with Clive a Spud and some of the Arsenal boys. Poor old Clive definately put all his eggs in one basket as he was betting people left right and centre. I told him they had no chance, so its great that I can see the Charlton in other teams as well. Poor old Spudz Murphy, ten players out and he can still only get on the bench.

Did I say how good the Weekender was? Kerri Chandler playing in the Sands on Sunday night. How much of a corker was that? The Official After Party missed the boat here ... but they always do.

I was o the train from London Bridge yesterday when I got a text saying we had signed Cory Gibbs from Feyenoord. As a US International, Cory will be reresenting the US in the Soccerball World Cup this Summer. At least that makes it one player Charlton will have in the tournament. Thanks to Sven that is.

I won't even start on the Swedish Meatball with what he's done here. To think that England had a good chance of progressing in the tournament, with Owen and Rooney up the top, but now we are left with Crouch, Joe Cole and Theo Walcott!!!!! Hold on Andy Johnson is on standby, so there may be a glimmer.

I need to eat a few salads. I am actually craving tomatoe and green beans. I ate crisps and rubbish at the weekend!!!!! Have I told you how good the weekender was though?

I can't believe that Darren Bent isn't going to the World Cup. He's on fire, the top English Goalscorer. He's come through the Under 17's, the Under 18's and has played for the Under 21's scoring important goals along the way. So what's the point we ask? Ask the departing meatball?????

My tune of the day: I dont want you any more - The Muthafunkers 

Families at war

Families eh ... who'd have them!!!! My bro is moving to France and has finally decided he'd tell me .... when I said it would have been nice to have known earlier he said it was historical. What that means I do not know?

Right ... I hope you all watched the Apprentice last night. What a shower of shit it was. Some complete and utter toss pots, Paul Tulip for one ... then Brummie Ruth who couldnt use the Queeens English if her old grannys life depended on it, forgetable Michelle and the only good guy Ansell, but they had a black bloke win last year so that wasn't going to happen was it. I couldnt get over all the chat about lying on their CV's. That does all seem a bit strange to me.

Zoe Ball on Strictly Pole Dancing ... a non starter to er, start with ... surely?

It seems like Wayne Rooney is out of the World Cup. It's okay though, up steps Peter Crouch.

It's the Southport Weekender should be a hoot.

My tune of the day: Inner City Blues (Makes Me Wanna Holler) - Reuben Wilson

Page 71

At first I thought it was a joke!!!! But no, it's a small ad tucked away in the bottom right hand corner of todays Daily Mail. Wanted a First Team Manager .... note Manager not Coach.

Is this the way for an established Premiership Football Club to do their business? Would any other club stick an advert like this in a cheap and nasty paper? No of course not. This is the problem. We've been out of the market for 15 years, the days of advertising in the Daily mail have long gone. They should have tried Monster, or City Jobs.

How many dodgy applications do you think this will bring in? 100!!!! 200!!!! I wouldn't like to be Charlton Athletic HR. They'll have to sypht through some right old toot.

News just in .... Glen Hoddle will be staying on as Wolves boss for next year. Phew!!!!!

In was the start of Series 2 of Lost last night. Two hours of stuff I didnt understand. I say 2 hrs, but I fell asleep in the last half hour. I woke up to a repeat of the Sopranos.

I actually voted yesterday. Postal voting means I dont have to traipse to the local school, but who knows what happens to it once it's posted!!!! It could end up anywhere.

My tune of the day: Far Beyond - Sunburst Band 

The King is dead ... long live the King

Well there you go. You all knowthe news, you all have your views on why, where, when ... and who. But it's been an emotional few days.

I think we knew something was up, when what appeared to be the whole club turned up on the pitch. There was everyone including the tea lady. Someone has pointed out that Tord Grip was even on the pitch, but what that was alla about I don't know. Anyway ...we had been in Legends for Teddys birthday. A carvery, and sticky toffee pudding set the day off to a great start. I would say that I was quite stunned by the announcement. You can understand how it came about though. Curbs wanted one more year, but wouldn't commit beyond that. That left Murray in a no win situation ... and better he gets it right now, than stew on it for a year. As long as he doesnt appoint Twoddle that is. It seems strange that Curbs won't be in charge any more. I'm not going to UManU as I'll be at Southport, but it may be a strange day. I'm not sure how Curbs will feel, emotional no doubt but not as emotional as some of the fans. There were a few lumps in throats, a few tears ... and I don''t care what people say, I couldn't see the point in leaving 10 minutes before the end of the game. What was all that about? Fifteen years and you can't even spend 20 minutes to see him off. Typical of some of the people.

I'm also advocating wearing bow ties to football matches. I had a nice brown number on on Saturday that when nicely with the Sherman shirt and Tacchini tracksuit top. You had to see it. But it surprised even me.

On another note, it made me laugh when Big Phil turned down the England coaches role. Do the press actual seem bothered? I doubt it!!!! But it's funny given that they don't care. Good on Big Phil, he gets a lot of respect from me ...

As for future Charlton managers. I would like to see Stevie Coppel. Just so I could sing bthat song ... the one about his birth certificate.

My tune of the day: 4 The Love - Karizma & DJ Spen