It may be raining outside ...

Ain't it just. Raining, it's pishing down. Roll on the Bank Holiday weekend, the cricket season, Southport Weekender ... Bernies barbecue. Oh, I doubt I'd get an invite to the last one ...ya dig.

So Jamaica are playing Ireland and Nigeria at the Valley. That actually made me laugh out loud. Given that I had traveled to Ninian Park to watch the Reggae Boyz back in 98, if I attend one of their matches I can say that I have seen Jamaica more times than Hingerland the land of ma birt. Butt then again Williams has a bond at the Munich municipal.

So Google are going to float. I've heard you can get some of the shares on ebay. As well as used coseyfits and pack enhancers.

So what's the consensus about those army torture pictures? It doesn't seem quite right to me, but I'm sure some peeps think it was justified.

Here's one for you. Why are man-hole covers round? Come on you must know that?

Oh and you lot need to get fitter. Five bouts of exercise a week. I can see it now.

My tune of the day: Losing You - King Kooba

Old King Cole .... a merry ol' soul ????

So they are rippin' out my kitchen ... well so the phone conversation went. And a hole in the wall ... hmmm ... lets hope it gets sorted eh ...!!!!!

I'm at a wine tasting tonight. Oh so very civilised.I say that, but it never ends up that way. Lets have 15 glasses of wine and spit them all out ... YEAH. Ain't happening is it.

It's raining out. I hung some washing out on tuesday for the first time this year ... and guess what happened :) Oh well.

I'm so bored .. it hurts.

My tune of the day: F**k da Police - NWA

On me 'ed son ....

There I am skipping through the Metro as I stand lazily on the Circle line. Page 13, unlucky? Maybe!!! How do you blow a raspberry by text???? Have I missed something here? Why would I want to? There are about 8 relies all telling you. From a ;oppppp to a rssssssp. A *rasp* to a *thrrrrp*.

I THINK PEOPLE NEED TO GET OUT A BIT MORE !!!!!

Then, on the same page, some one from Sheffield says we should have (as in like da country) a referendum on ID cards. Add that one to the EU referendum, the one about the Congestion charge and whether tea goes with fish and chips. *thrrrrrrrp*

I ran for 3 miles this morning, on a bleedin treadmill. I would say at the end my will to live was somewhat diminished. My mind wondered from work, through to Charlton's formation on Saturday to the big pants the girl in front of me had on. *rasp*

It's Tedmundos 6th birthday tomorrow. How time flies!!! He's only 21 years behind me ...:-*

supposedly Charlton are off to China for a two game tour in July. Now that is RED ARMY. thbpt

My tune of the day:Raspberry Beret - Prince

Dear Deidre ...

Sex in a car park, not daring enough, virgin who loves saucy texts. Go on' Deidre.You got it going on girl.. But have you seen the Casebook?? It don't happen, trust me.

So Mr Jim Bennett from Leeds says that the Race Relations Board made a fuss over bIG fAT rON'S comments. They are not there for name calling!!!!Mr Bennett is follically challenged and is always getting called a bald-headed so and so. Comments Mr Williams?? Oh and Jane Fazackerly from Cheltenham says the comments where made out of frustration - she then says there is a difference.

Oh ...

I spent 3 hours clearing out my kitchen last night. Today they should have been installing a new one. Come twelve oclock I'm told the worktop aint arrived. So it will be in a few more days. Blimey, it's never easy.

I've just realised it's the first cricket match of the season this coming Sunday. Plus the CAFC Player of the Year doo, i'm gonna be knackered.

My tune of the day: Twighlight - Maze featuring Frankie Beverley

The Industrial North ....We

Well I'm back. In one piece, just about. The drive up listening to Charlton sucumb to Foolham wasn't too good. But apart from that. The sun shone, the drink flowed and the women ... well they were women.

We got a room in Jesmond. Right in the middle of those bars. The ones where the neuveaux riche hang out. You get the picture. This was a Matt Owen sort of place not a Batnie Rubbell one. Vodka tonics were the order of the day and the juice was flowing as the party started right. Put it this way, alls good in da toon. Ya get me !!!!

Right, onto the football. The banquetting at St James Park is outstanding. Dolly Birds dishing up frois gras for the heards. Including Pater Beardsley, Gazza, Ray Wilkins, a Keith Harris lookey likey. The Chels looked the part as they started the game with a bang, and even without the PFA Young Player of the Year, they had Joe Cole pulling the strings. Then it just all seemed to go wrong. Two passes couldn't be strung together, Desailly looked his age and the tinkerman looked like he had tinkered once too often. As for Hernan Crespo, £18 mill ... YOU'RE 'AVIN A LAFF.

The sun is shining and as they say all is good.

My tune of the day: Living for the City - Stevie Wonder

High ho, high ho ...

Well it's St Georges day. So lets all celebrate.

Ray Houghton, what a mug. I listened to him on Talk sport last night. Indeed ...

The sun is shining. The sky is blue ... it's just a shame that there's nowt here to spoil my view. I thought it was funny.

Off to Newcastle this weekend. A night on the pish, I'm gonna go watch the boy Parker on Sunday. Here's to 3 points eh, Scotty ... now that has made me laugh.

From there I'm going over to Blackpool and having Sunday night there. Who needs Vegas eh ????

So they are saying Paulo has had enough, laugh ... ??? No not me, get to the back of the cue Paulo.

My tune of the day: A place in the sun - Frankie Feliciano

Big Phat Ron ...

So there you have it. Big Ron Atkinson must be a member of the Charlton Athletic e-mail list. Well what with his views anyway. You see Ron, as he tells us has done as anyone to help Black footballers - he played Cyrille, Laurie and Brendan in the West Brom team of the 80's. So Big Ron helped them by playing them in his team. Er, they weren't there on merrit, he was actually making a stand for integration. Yeah right. Anyway here we have Big Ron, a celebrated football face, columnist, broadcaster. After watching Chelsea throw away a great opportunity against Monaco he sees fit to let rip at Marcel Desailly. So what do you think he would say ... hmmmm ... well if you don't know, here goes -

" A f**ing lazy big n****r"

Work that one out then. Then we have Ron telling us he hasn't got a racist bone in his body. Typical of some of the idiots I have come across in my 27 years. But he'll still use the "N" word. That's all good then.

Oh did you see the Makelele tumble? It's just not cricket.

So Narwich City have been promoted. That mean good old Matt Svensson will be back at the Valley next season. This is the Matt Svensson who spent time in a red shirt lolloping about not really doing anything. Now he says that it's so good to play in a team that plays football, not like the stuff they play at Charlton. It suits him better to play football. Blimey ... Matty son, get wid da programme.

Plans are still up in the air as to whether I go to Foolham on Saturday or to Newcastle for the weekend. It's all go, go ... go.

My tune of the day: Musicology - Prince

Just Say No ...

No it's not the old Grange Hill song ... it's what the Sun says about the EU dream. Don't hand power over to Brussels, I'm not so sure that this would happen anyway, but hey.

So the Tinkerman, tinkered just a bit too much last night. I think he actually lost it and as good as a victory against the Arse was this was ..., er, funny.

Well Charlton made their yearly trip to Old Trafford and rolled over. Now I'm not having a go here, but it's the same every time. Maybe some tactical variance wouldn't go a miss ... but we all know Curbs don't we.

Rebecca Loos turned up at the Kill Bill Prem. I would say that her pic in the papers this morning don't do her much credit, but I'm sure the likes of Bern, and Kev would have a go. NO CLASS !!!!

Talking of film prems, why do people want to stand in the rain and watch people go into the cinema. Every premier Leicester Square gets packed. I just don't get it ...!!!!

And whilst I'm on it, why when I am walking up a flight of stairs and reach half way does someone want to walk down the stairs and walk on my side? We then have a stand off at 10 paces ... I ain't moving.

My consignment of rosettes turned up this morning ... watch this space.

Also I'm not sure we needed the A5 size pic of Gloria Hunniford in our papers this morning. Now to me a funeral should be about personal grief and showing this is just ... crap.

I can't wait for Jordans autobiography ... you know it makes sense.

Oh, and the Sun have said that David Beckhams bandana thingy has got tongues wagging. They say that he was saying "I'm wearing boxer shorts!!!" Well we know that ain't true, don't we?? It was all on here yesterday, so please keep up.

My tune of the day: Non-stop to Brazil - Astrud Gilberto

David Beckham ....

Well now we know??? David Beckham is heavily into receiving S&M. How do we know?? Well Davey wore a black bandana in his left pocket, easy ain't it.

And Littlejohn has never heard of a bloke shaving his privates. Blimey Kev there are two of you. Hello Mr Littlejohn, it's been happening for years. Wise up.

And whilst we are on Littlejohn accordingly Kevin Spacey is a fag.

It's the premier for Kill Bill Vol 2 this evening. I enjoyed Vol 1 and will be going out of my way to catch Vol 2, but do you know he is making Vol 3. Yeah in 2019. Great planning eh ????

Poor old Diego. He's critically ill in hospital and I don't think any person in England gives a fig. A shame really for such a talent to be remembered for that moment.

I'm going to try out a Body Jam class at lunch time. Wish me luck ... all thoses lycra clad hunnies and me ....

Oh and the boys are away at UManU tonight ... gawd help us ...

My tune of the day: Green and Gold - Roy Ayres

Keep on running ...

Here's a question ... why. oh why do they shut the Blackwell tunnel at Weekends (well at night anyway.) It took me a freaking hour to get back from Hackney last night. I had to dodge the muppets all jockying to get to the Rotherhithe and then proceed at 15 miles an hour through the damn place. It wasn't good.

I had a weekend on the pish over in Plaistow, well near enough Upton Park. There was a Sikh march/ celebration on Sunday, not sure what that was all about.

I got to the Valley on Saturday still in the same clothes as I had worn on Friday night. I had a couple of badges on the lapel of my jacket. I was then told they were similar to the old gay rainbow thingamy. So was I saying I was gay. Everest would love that ... but what he has to realise is that some people are not threatened, and it's not me that has been getting recent editions of Corrie shipped to Sweden.

So Becks has confessed. Or not for that matter. I would have been quite funny if he had texted Posh a full and frank confession. I can then see Posh as she scrabbles around for the News of the World number to put the record straight. Unbelievable.

Does anyone want to buy a Von Dutch hat? In Norwich green and yellow colours. I can't be seen in one, not after a few drinks over at Wanstead on Sat. Bloody hell.

I got a text from James on Saturday. He said was the Charlton/ Brum game any good. Blimey, talk about waste 20p.

Has anyone seen Kirsty Gallacher's tats in the paper today ... good work.

By all sense and purposes Michelle McManus' career is over ... career?????

Oh, and the No Party are going to win the next election ...

My tune of the day: Chances Going Round - First Choice

Oh well ...

I take it that is a no then .... ????

My tune of the day: Gypsy Woman - Crystal Waters

Is there anybody out there ....

Do I write this for myself ... does anyone actually read this????

I'm just double checking really ....

My tune of the day: Playing your game baby - Barry White

Another day ...

You know what ...?? I've got writers block!!!

My tune of the day: Golden Years - Loose Ends

Champions League ... you're 'avin a laff ...

Sang Chrissy Powell as he jogged round the Anfield pitch yesterday ... Allegedly. Quality stuff if it was true.

Oh have I mentioned Brian Lara scored a new world record 400 runs not out. I sat down and watched him do it yesterday. Absolutely unbelievable. Yes England have wrapped up the series but it has been good to see the smug faces actually come back to some sort of reality. If I had been Brian I would have carried on batting, all 5 bleedin days ... that would have got the papers talking.

Oh and Charlton beat Liverpool ... 1-0. Only in America, unbelievable ... Siddddaaaaaaannnnnn ...

Well the Easter has come and gone. And I've done absolutely nothing. Oh how we laugh.

My tune of the day: I don't like cricket - 10cc

We've got Paulo, we've got Paulo ...

Blimey, I am so looking forward to the football on Saturday. I just want to go to a match. But I can see the outcome now!!!! Yes us Charlton supporters have been there, done that.

So Milan lost. Oh dear, Chelsea could be European kings .... how funny is that???

It's another Easter weekend, so that mean four days on the piss. I do need to cut down on my alcohol consumption. Okay, maybe I don't.

So what are people planning to do this weekend? Leave me a message ...

My tune of the day: Who needs love - Incognito

It WAS my b'day

Blimey ... how much can one man drink??? Now that is a question.

I spent about 2 hours yesterday trawling the City trying to find Sticky Toffee Pudding. No luck. I ended up with Italian Cheesecake.

So I found out this morning that Chels beat the Ass. Whoopy doo. I for one ain't that bothered about any of it. I'm more bothered about the £500 electricity bill I received. Bloody British Gas.

It's football on Saturday. I haven't been to a game in ages ... or it seems like it. And they say that they play too many games ... yeah right.

I am looking out the window and it's quite depressing. No sunshine, no short skirts ...

My 3G phone has been repaired and returned. Well we will have to see if it makes any difference...

My tune of the day: Lovely Day - Bill Withers

It's ma b'day ...

Well there you go ... 27 ;) it is.

I watched England Expects last night. What I made of it I'm not too sure. It was the usual stuff about racism and all that, but I didn't get the story. Following that there has been a thread on the Charlton email list regarding the comment about a refs turban slipping over his eyes, as he didn't give a pen. All very funny you may think ... or not as the case may be. Let's put it like this, we are indeed living in the 21st century. I don't need to hear jokes about turbans, potatoes or David Beckham. It's not PC, it's just me being me. Some people do though, but why they have to bring it to a public forum is anyone's guess. What do you think Rav??

I've got a half days leave today. I do think that some drinking will be done this afternoon. Starting off around America Square then onwards and upwards ... it's V&T's all the way.

Rebecca Loos ... would you ???

My tune of the day: I believe in a thing called love - Lemar

Things can only get better ...

Sang D:Ream back in the 90's. Yeah right, and there are such things as flying pigs, Spinksey didn't have the biggest spot ever seen in Scotland and Becks ain't contemplated shagging around.

So Millwall made it to Wembley (yes I know it's Cardiff, but hey) and England won the series. What a weekend!!! I sat in Yates in Lewisham on Sat watching UManU beat the Goners, and in my front room yesterday watching Wall beat the Makems. What do they say ... "Only in America".

And now David Beckham has been shagging Rebecca Loos. Or so says his chauffeur, come-bodyguard. Oh no I mean his EX chauffeur, come-bodyguard. EX indeed. So he's not looking for some extra money along the way. Get over it. There's a transcript in the Sun of a text conversation Becks had with this bird. Now any person with a bit of common would realise it's a load of bollies. There wasn't one M8, GR8, LOL, or TXT BAC. He supposedly text things like "Where do you want to feel me the most". Oh come off of it, it's so laughable.

And have you seen the latest pics of Eric Cantona. Quality, absolute quality. If Vilhelm sees them this must be his new look. It's gotta be.

I didn't get to the Ideal Home Exhibition at the weekend. So much for planning eh. Oh well I'm 27 tomorrow ...

My tune of the day: Can't get away from you - Mood 2 Swing

It may be winter outside, but in my heart it's spring ...

Well one minute it's cold, the next it's warm, then it's cold, then it rain, it's warm ... Etcetera, etcetera. What's that all about, eh ???

I have reached 100 contacts on my MSN messenger. I really think I don't know half of them, or have forgotten who they are, but I don't want to delete them just in case. I only talk to a few people on there, but it really is a good real time business tool, it's a shame that most companies won't allow it, think firewall!!!!

I sent my latest mobile phone back to the service provider yesterday. The bleedin thing kept dropping calls and buzzing. I got caught up in the whole 3G thang and signed up. I told them in no uncertain terms that unless they provide me with a fully working mobile phone then the contract is null and void and I will go elsewhere. Unfortunately Three have outsourced their call centre to Bombay and I can't understand a word they say. I might have to get Rav on the case.

It's another weekend and there are a few things I am considering. Sunday is the last day of the Ideal Home Show and I was thinking to popping long. Although I would miss Millwall in the cup. There's also a new Vivian Westwood exhibition at the V&A. Now that has got to be worth a look. Although I'm thinking that most of the people I know would be more at home at a M&S exhibition. You know who you are.

I was just reading the Metro. It appears to have been Chris Tarrants last day at Crapital. Oh my ...

My tune of the day: On & On - Erykah Badu vs The Turbomen -

Changing rooms my arse ...

Well I'm back. I've had 3 days decorating. 3 bleedin days up and down ladders, covered in paint. Although I have had a rad fitted to my conservatory. I'm now thinking of false ceilings and new kitchens. Oh happy days.

The best thing about the whole decorating experience though, was no PC access. How good is that. No sitting in front of fuzzy screens looking at emails from people who can't speill!!!

And did anyone watch that England match last night? Oh Matt and Jeff. I do hope you enjoyed yourselves. A trip to Sweden to watch a load of old Charlton boys running round aimlessly. They can do that in a Charlton shirt, but hey.

The suns shining. Summer is on its way and I will be looking good. I've got a few new outfits so I can't wait.

Oh and I' 27 next Tuesday ... keep up.

My tune of the day: Fly - Crazy Penis