When I'm cleaning windows ...

So Ipswich Towns season finished on a damp squib. Knocked out by the Irons on a firey night in East Anglia. I watched some of it and would have to say they cocked up by buying/ playing Darren Currie. He just seemed to be out of his depth. Just my opinion ... what do I know.

Talking about what do I know, I did laugh when I read some of Inspector Sands comments recently.

All Quiet

The Inspector in his end of season round up says he blames Dean Kiely for Palaces SECOND goal. Well the second was the penalty, so I presume he means the first. That was the one when Fortune did that crap header back towards his own goal that saw the Palarse forward able to chip Deano who was indeed off of his line. Now having been there and watched it back it just so happened that Deano was off his line already. What was he to do, quickly run back and stand on it ... ??? I'm not Deanos greatest fan. His positioning is suspect, his kicking poor at best, but his shot stopping is first rate. His fault ... now that is a sweeping statement.

Next the Inspector shows his true colours.

Casino Avenue

To quote ... I'm a Charlton Athletic fan, but some of my favourite people are Arsenal supporters, you know, and it's a big weekend for them.

Jesus ... some of my favourite people are Arsenal fans!!!! What like Rory Bremner, Ian Wright, Saddam Hussein??? My dad was an Arsenal supporter and when push comes to shove I like Arsenal a tad more than I do UManU, but in reality I hate them. I hate them the same way as I hate every other team that's not Charlton. Especially when we have to go to the Library to play them. You get on that Piccadilly Line at say Covent Garden and your surrounded by his and her's supporters ... the Corporation Doo-Gooders. You know what I mean. Sod Arsenal, sod all those North London muppets (Yes they did originate in South London, but per-lease).

Luckily I didn't watch that Celebrity Love ting last night, I realise that this is a complete waste of my time and effort and I have some paint that I need to watch dry.

My tune of the day: Agent 406 - Lime

Fashion ...

A very interesting, or rather imotive subject. Summer is upon us .. oh what to wear. I had to laugh when on Sunday I saw that Vince had started to grow that spiky hair look at the back of his head. Always on the cutting edge our Vince. Then we had Giles ranting that I had a "Foreign" teeshirt on, given that the writing was in Portuguese ... it did make me laugh. Then in the metro today, some muppet from SW19 ... that's Wimbledon stroke Merton for you and me ... told us not to wear dark socks with trainers if you are wearing shorts. He goes on to say that socks should be white and preferably ankle length, and as for socks and sandals !!!! Blimey, talk about the Fashion Police. If I want to wear dark socks and sandals I bleedin well will. So watch out for knee length dark socks with sandals this summer, if we ever get a good summer.

Talking about fashion there were a few examples on the train this morning. There was a young-ish lad with the same hair cut as Vince. You know the one. He was wearing a sort of Mr Byrite/ River Island suit, wiggly pinstrip, and he had all three buttons (sic) done up and three pens in the top pocket. Now please, have I missed something here. That's the sort of thing I would have expected Mr Dev to wear ... well he did back in the day. Then we have short dumpy women, a tad overweight with all their belly hanging out. What's that all about? Put some clothes on love, it's not big (well it is) and it's not clever.

Have another Krispy Kreme Donut.

It's the West Ham and Ipswich game tonight. I may give it 10 minutes but I'll have to turn over to Celebrity Love Island before the end. Maybe the best Car Crash TV ever. It's so bad that you have to watch it. Abi Titmus ... Unbelievable. Rebecca Loos the sort of girl Kev would take home to meet his Mum.

What about Passion Pants???? And I don't mean JJ ...

My tune of the day: Another Day - Kings of Tomorrow

To all the girls I've loved before ...

Get over it !!!!!

Right ,it seems like West Bromwich Albion are Kings of the World. It would appear they have won the Premier League, Champions League, Sherpa Van Trophy and the World Darts Matchplay all rolled into one. They were all out spraying Champagne because Jon Fortune managed to get his head onto a Jerome free kick. I don't get it myself .. but hey you have your moment in the sun. You're still crap.

It's the FA Cup Final on Saturday. Is anyone that bothered? It was a year ago that Giles had his Stag up in Blackpool and the Wall were in the Final. Let's move on eh.

On the cricket front England have their first test of the summer when they take on the Old Pilotonians. Er, I mean Bangladesh. This is the same Bangladesh that are losing to Sussex by shed loads of runs and wickets ... a complete waste of time.

Well I had the misfortune to watch 10 minutes of that Celebrity Love Island last night. I can't believe that they fill our TV schedules with this $hite. Abi Titmus, Jane Middlemiss ... not two brain cells between them. Fran Cosgrove ... Calum Best ... Jesus.

David Beckham has a new slicked back hairstyle. Give it 3 months before they all have it on the 8:02 from Hither Green. Think outside of the box people.

Oh ... and sorry to bleat on about Sunday, but that was never a penalty. I saw it about 10 times in slow motion replays and it hit his shoulder. How could the ref have been sure and given it?

Never mind it didn't really matter as Palarse were still relegated.

My tune of the day: Victim of loving you - Colonel Abrams

Now my roots are showing ... poor Katie I don't look too happy. 

How do these shorts go with my hair??? 

Farewell my summer love

So that's that then ...

The end of a fairly mundane season, resulted in most of the ground singing that Amarillo song, well I say singing but you know what I mean with the words changed to save the innocent.

First things first, we sent Palarse back to the Nationwide (sic!!!) We'll replace them with West Ham as we always have good games against them. But all in all, the performance left a lot to be desired. The crowd were up for it, that was due in parts to 3 hours in the pub ... but when we kicked off we knew within minutes that we were in for another lackluster performance led by Captain Clean Shorts and Hughesy. But fair play to Hughesy he shined his goal in superbly.

I think Curbs needs to get a few things sorted. He needs a settled team, playing 4-4-2 ... and he needs to get rid of some of the dross. The dross that still gets thousands of pounds a week to kick pig skin around. We need competition for places, and I mean proper competition. If Curbs isn't going to play Sam or the likes then off load them. I want to see proper competition, players having to perform to be in the team. A good solid, young centre half ... like Curtis Davies from Luton. A ball winning, bleeder of a midfield player someone like er, Scottie Parker ( more sic!!!!). A forward who can win us penalties ... a bit like Andy Johnson ... now how funny would that be ... no it wouldn't would it!!!!

The time has come to have a real good spring clean. Get the players in early and get cracking. It's not going to happen though is it?

On another note, I heard that Kevin Lisbie was in hospital. He is supposedly very ill. If it is true ... get well soon Kev.

I had a tidy up on Saturday, moving the furniture round, dusting, cleaning the carpet. Then I had a few visitors out of the blue. Young Teddy Mooney and family baring gifts. A waffle maker ... so now. You can't beat waffles, poached egg, crispy bacon and mapple syrup.

I've attached a few pics from Southport below. I'm still hoping there are a few more out there.

My tune of the day: Precious Love - Barbara Tucker

Think outside the box!!!! 

Southport ... are my roots showing? 

Oh well ... 

Happy Clappers .. er, slappers

What the hell is that all about????? Clappers/ Slappers ... and on primetime TV. Is it me, or do you think that some people may just go straight out and give it a go. It could be interesting though.

I'm still knackered from the weekend. I'm sleeping like a baby with an inane grin on my face. I just remembered that I spent most of Saturday day wandering round the site in luminous yellow shorts and baby blue/ pink socks ... I rock. Then Timbo showed the Grimsby gals a pic of me in red/ yellow speedos ... Guffaw away why don't ya!!!!

I'm actually looking forward to Sundays game. That's not been the case for a few months now ... although knowing Charlton it won't be as straightforward as that. It will be good to see some of the peeps before Summer (sic!!!) comes. It's funny how I have spoken about Happy Slapping and Palarse like the two don't go hand in hand ...

Right then ... I suppose I had better mention it. This UManU thing and this muppet Glazier. I would say that in reality it's good to see the smug twats that are UManU fans get a piece, but in reality it's not good for the rest of us. This American is all about da benjamins and will pull UManU out of the collective TV deal for the Prem. He'll negotiate his own thing, then the Chels will do theirs , then the Arse will do theirs. Unfortunately as much as the Spudz try I don't think anyone wants to watch the tripe that they dish up ... call me old fashion!!!

So come on then people, let's all take 12 August off and have a party ... you know it makes sense ... or infact will rain.

My tune of the day: Warrior Charge - Aswad

The Farm ...

Have you ever seen something so shite as this programme? Emma B, Emma Noble, Dave Morgan ... celebrities ... I don't think so!!! Flava Flav, twenty years too late, Ron Jeremy ... come on, Lionel Blair, now he is an entertainer, La Cicciolina a 54 year old porn star (I bet Kev has got all her films) and the Duck.

I wish I could fly ...

I opened up the paper today and was met by pictures of Celebrity boxing mayhem. Again I say Celebrity, we have Michael Carroll, (Who??) and Rhino. (Blimey!!!) Now Michael Carroll is the King of Chavs who won 9 mill on the Lottery, so that deffo makes hima Celebrity and Rhino was off of that 90's TV programme Gladiators. You remember the one with Ulrikkkkkkkka, and Fash da Bash. These two somehow are classed as Celebrities and will be boxing, for Char-ity. I think I will be busy that day.

The Boxing press conference was at Repton, so I thought I might see Wendal in the pics ...

Sunday is creeping up on us. It's the day that Charlton could stop the rot and send them Stripey Nigels back down. Now, I'm just hoping that the players realise how important this game actually is ... and put on a bit of a show. What's the chances of that eh?????

No I don't really see it either.

Celebrity Wrestling ... yeah right!!!

My tune of the day: No one - Maxwell

Things that make you feel old ...

It's twenty years to the day that the main stand at Valley Parade home of Bradford City FC caught fire and killed 56 people injuring 265. If you have ever been on a fire training course then you would have seen the video. It's not particularily good viewing, but puts a lot of things into perspective. It also brought about a change in legislation governing Stadia which has an effect on all of us.

I had one of those evenings last night. I couldn't be bothered to do a thing, so sat on my setee staring at the TV. I didn't move, so the flat is still in a right old state ... and the washing and ironing needs to be done. I'll get it done soon ... I promise that to myself.

It's the end of season this Sunday, and it couldn't come quick enough. I've been footbaled out for months, and haven't really missed missing the matches I have. Saying that, I'm quite looking forward to the Palarse (Glaziers if you listen to Jeff) match on Sunday. Yea Sunday, I had forgotten about that I stupidly thought it was Saturday.Thank the FA for sweet FA.

My tune of the day: Joy - Trina Broussard

I just had ten pints of yoghurt ...!!!!

I'm mullered ...

I'm back ...

By dope demand ...

What a weekend ... great people, great music, drinking, partying, no football, top dollar.

Now it would appear that Charlton were conned again by refereeing biased towards the top teams. I wasn't there so it's hard to comment. But having seen it on Monday Night Football ... jesus is all I can say.

Have I said how good my weekend was? Right from the start getting to the Pub just as the drinking and music was kicking in ... to wearing the LED belt and the kilt, to meeting up with Mondana and her troop, the Grimsby gals, having a bonding session with Big Dave, people knowing me from the badges, having my pic in the programme, Tia Maria and Vodka shots, listening to 2 hours of Blaze, formation dancing, Timbo leaving early on Sunday ... what a lightweight, Craig driving off with my passport and plane ticket, getting the train home with Clive and Frostie, thinking about it all making me smile ... it's always such a top weekend.

But now it's back to reality. It's back to work, it's Crystal Paralasis on Saturday, waiting on my new phone, working out when I need to go to the gym, washing, ironing, I can't dry clean it all ...

The sun was shining this morning, it isn't now ... I need to go for a walk ...

My tune of the day: Ordinary People - John Legend

Franny Jeffers shoulder ..

The news hit me this morning. No, not a Labour victory but the fact that Fanny Jeffers has a dodgey shoulder. Will that mean that Kevin Lisbie plays? Just stick Romm up front and twack it up to him ...

No, not a good idea!!!!

It will be a long old day today. I got to work early so I can leave at 4:30 on the dot to catch a flight to Liverpool. It's one of them weekends.

I've spoken to my Mum and she's still in the hospital, a tad bored now. It's cysts on her liver ... they are bringing in a liver specialist ... but why they didn't do that a week ago ... oh well.

Here's hoping for a sunny day ...

My tune of the day: Superstition - Stevie Wonder

Now can someone explain how good I actually look ... ???

Election ...

Vote for me, that's what I say. No sod that, would you want to have to go onto GMTV to canvas for votes or have to justify why you jumped the dentist queue when you had a toothache ...!!!!

I voted weeks ago, but I have the feeling that I would change it if I voted today ... oh well.

On a seperate note, thanks for all the well wishes for my Mum. I went to see her down in Worthing yesterday and it's all much of a muchness. It's the LIVER, but the liver specialist isn't available ... yadda, yadda. Blame Mr Blair, not the fact that the specialist is taking private bookings in private hospitals.

So Mrs Rooney doesn't think she's a Chav. Innit ...

Did you all watch the final of the Apprentice? It was all a bit weird and a bit of an anticlimax really ... but the whole 12 weeks has been quality TV. Now, web only have Big Brother left to look forward to .... NOT GOOD.

Has the football season finished yet??

My tune of the day: Trust yourself - Glenn Underground

Champions League, you're 'avin a laff ...

Well, it's a funny old game. I for one wouldn't have bet on Liverpool beating the Russians. But hey what do I know ...???

It was a rather staid type of game. Not a great slice of technical ability on show, but hey it's two English teams what do you want?

It's that special day tomorrow. The 5th of May, the final day to get a discount on your Charlton Athletic season ticket renewal. Go on you know it makes sense. You know that talk of Italian strikers, a clear out of the tat, Ruud Guillet (lol) are a ply to make you renew. What me cynical?

Ok, ok ... it's this damn election. I voted days ago via the postal system, so chances are that it will arrive at it's destination sometime in a month or so. Or just get lost in the system. I've counted 2 leaflets through my door so far in the 5 weeks of electionMANIA, so I don't really know what the parties are doing or trying to do locally. Oh well, I say I'll just shut my eyes and hope!!! No ... not even I would do that. I've taken in all that I've heard, everything that I've read, searched for on the net ... and I'm still none the wiser. Although I can read between the lines ... "Are you thinking what I'm thinking" ... Jesus!!!

Make sure you watch the final of the Apprentice tonight ...

My tune of the day: Sound of da Police - KRS1

Charlton Pathetic ...

Oh I forgot to say we got thumped 4-0 by UManU ... typical eh ...

Home on the range ...

My leg hurts, my arm aches, my head is pounding ... my pocket not as full as it should be ... another bank holiday weekend no doubt??

From driving around North London to playing football to scaring girls on a boat to wobbling round Brick Lane to dozing in Plaistow that was a weekend that was. I wore my new black kilt at the boat party. Offset with a large pair of standard issue British Army boots, a black/ grey stripped top and vintage blue tuxedo I thought I was the dogs. It was only later when I was chating to a great looking girl that I realised that my taste isn't always everybodies taste. She said that when I had got out of the cab at Lambeth Pier she had turned to her mate and said look that bloke, he looks scary!!!! What's that all about I said? She backtracked though by saying that now I had talked to her what a bleedin' great bloke I was ... I'll have that in writing please.

On another note. Keeley had her bag stolen in the Lane Bar. In it was loads of stuff (money/ phones/ camera). But I can't work out how and why peeeps want to go out and steal Girls bags. Get a life!!!

I played in goal for a half on Saturday. On the big sandy pitch in Dulwich. I conceeded no goals, we were drawing 0-0. I didn't do too bad but eventually we lost 5-1. We were crap ...!!!

I had a phone call, well it was a missed call from my bro on Sunday. Now I don't know what sort of relationship you have with your sibblings but mines a bit weird. We don't really speak, not that often and you can work out when we will. But a missed call at 4 o'clock on a Bank Holiday Sunday isn't one of them times. That would mean something's up. Yep it had to be. So I made the call and was told that he had to rush my Mum into hospital. She was doubled up in pain etc, etc. Now I was on a boat, in a kilt and pished. What was I to do? She was in intensive care ... well the observation ward anyway. You know when you feel totally useless!!!! That was me ...

Big G has gone out to Antigua to get married ... good luck.

My tune of tha day: Save us - Raphael Saadiq