Stranger than fiction ...

Seems like the same old crew did the Valencia weekend. A pic of Vince, with Lucy Les and Sirjamalot hit my mobile saturday night. The sun was shinning and the Charlton boys were in town. I got a text saying we were 2-0 down and they were all over us. I was quite happy Sunday morning to learn that it had ended 3-1. It's pre-season ... we are being told that the Valencia players were better on the ball, they had better control, used it better etc, etc ... well I could have told you that, and I was sitting on a settee in Leytonstone. Wonders never cease.

I've not been overly concerned, but a lack of quality signings is starting to rub away at my Charlton preseason optimism.

** Slight problem, why do people cut their nails in the office. Snip, snip .. snip .... **

We need a couple of midfielders, and the more time moves on the less time they have to bed in, etc .. you know learn the Charlton way. We don't want Holland and Hughes being the main men come Wet Sham. That just wouldn't work!!!!!!

Anyway it's Welling on Wednesday and my first glimpse of a Dowie team. It's going to be packed down at Park View Road as all the locals want to get a piece of football action.

I'm a bit worried about the Darren Bent situation. His cut hand has meant he hasn't been able to play in any games so far. That's not good. He needs to be match fit.

The weather seems to have turned, and everyone seems to be saying thank fcuk for that!!!! Blimey, I love the hot weather, the sun beating down. Maybe I'm strange like that, but I don't like rain.

There was one coat put on the wall friday. I'm hoping another coat may be done today along with the other small bits and pieces. The flats like a tip, so nothing new there then.

My tune of the day: Line dancing - The Littlemen

Haming it up

I don't know what that means either ....

Still no signings. Oh but the season ticket books have had bleach thrown over them. A disgruntled supporter or rival (won't be a Palarse or Wall)!!!!!!

It's Valencia tomorrow. Odds on we take a mullaring. Ho hum.

It's still quite hot out. Overly humid. I love it.

Love Island pished all over Big Brother. Oh how I love Sophie Anderton (Is she Darrens sis?) and her spats with Paul Danan. Quality viewing. Watch Dennis go to town ...!!!

It's a stroll down to the Sham tomorrow. See what excites me in the 99p shop. It was a bird table last time.

The graphics card has gone on my PC. More expenditure ...

Oh and you should all be looking to switch from British Gas. They provide both my Gas and Electricity. Sod that ... I'm on USwitch ...

My tune of the day: We are family - Sister Sledge

Right then ....

The new roof panels are up. It puts the rest of the roof to shame. Hopefully the wall gets painted today. The ceiling netting is on order, and the camo material for the benches has arrived. I just need to get some foam padding and I'm away.

I've just ben chatting to my Mum about the cricket. She was cheesed off that she can't watch the test on terrestrial TV. They won't have any viewers in a few years ...

Still no new signings. Yea we've been linked with all and sundry, Uncle Tom Cobley etc, but I want fact. Pictures of them holding the shirt.

Still no idea on what phone to get. Ho hum ....

Just realised I've got a wedding to go to in a couple of weeks. I need to find an outfit that doesn't upstage the bride.

I've got a craving for full phat coke. That's not good.

My tune of the day: Follow me - Alyus

Reality

I forgot to mention I watched the Contender 2 on Monday night. Keeping them peeled.

A defeat to Scotish Giants Hibs last night. It appears we don't have a big squad. It's full of youngsters. They must know what they are doing!!!! Surely.

Hopefully I'm getting the conservatory roof done today. I say hopefully ... and I mean it.

Talking of rucksacks, why do people put them on the seats and not in the overhead racks. Usually they put them inside and sit on the outside. I saw it last night. What's that all about?

Oh and Canadian Graham has indicated that Barnie Gravel is cycling from John's end to Land o' grouts. Blimey, will his fences suffer? Will he get a blister on his bum? Is Jeff meeting him halfway?

My tune of the day: Expansions - Lonnie Listen Smith

Taking the piss

The Royal Mail are right up there. Have you seen their new pricing guide? If your sending a "large" letter in an A4 envelope you end up paying more. Oh right, so if I want to send something not bentr it costs more money. Thanks ... you get far too much out of me already, so a few pence more rocks.

Love Island ... I gave it a glance last night. Paul Danan!!!! Pulled Sophie Cokesniffers pants down. Oh how I LAUGHED ....

It's phone upgrade time. Jeeez, another couple of weeks of phaffing around. What can I get, what deal will I be offered. Bleeding Orange now get on my wick, just like T-Mobile.

Oh, it's away to Hibernian this evening. Jeez, that's got to be better than away to Torquay. Hasn't it?

Have you all noticed an increase in backpack wearers on the tube stroke train? The ones that wear their backpacks!!!! You know the ones. It's on the increase I tell thee ...

My tune of the day: Clouds - Chaka Khan

A long weekend

Well Whitstable came and went. Quite strange really. It's a fishing village, a harbour but not much sign of being able to buy fish. We had some oysters and chorizo, some ray, some lobster then bought some lavender from a shop down the high street. Let's get some fresh fish I mused. Some sardines, whack it onto the barbie. One fishmongers with a window full of flies ... er, no thanks. No fish stalls on the sea front .... oh well, let's stop off at Tesco.

It was a relatively easy drive. Just over the hour door to door. Down the A/M2 and Bobs your Uncle. A couple of hours on the beach, I think it's got to be Herne Bay next.

I got to see Sergio Mendes last night. My first visit to a concert at the Barbican, brought about an early DJ set from Giles Peterson, and some great singing from Gracinha Leporace and Dawn Bishop. It was 25 years since Sergio last performed in London, supposedly with Frank Sinatra, so it was a priviledge.

Oh Charlton won at the toolbox. 4-1 was the score, excitement none by all concerned. JFH played a half, whoooosh.

Welling lost to Grays and their new striker lasted 15 minutes.

The weather is still lovely but have you noticed how people have turned. Oh it's too hot, it's too humid, I can't sleep ... blah, blah, blah. It's lovely ... just move on.

My tune of the day: Look of love - Sergio Mendes

Sun drenched

A lunchtime circuits session definately gets the blood pumping. It does make you sweat like Kev in a volvo factory.

It's the start of the Open Golf Championship today, Zzzzzzz ......

Other news ... Zinedine Zidane has been handed a three-match ban for headbutting Marco Materazzi. HELLLLO !!!!!! He's retired.

It's a Whitstable day tomorrow. So here's hoping for some sun. The CIFC lot are on their way to Leeds for Worldnet. PQ will once again be the star of the show. Beige shoes, beige trosers and beige cheeks.

I've lost my straw hat. I can't believe it ... it's definately straw hat weather.

I think I need a cup of tea and a muffin ....

My tune of the day: Woman in red - Stevie Wonder

Rocky 6 ...

Top banana

It's cold outside ...

It was a long day yesterday. Up at 04:55, back home at just gone midnight. A flight to Blackpool on the hottest day up North this century. It was a funeral visit, so not much fun there. It was an emotional day, and I think appreciated by all those concerned.

We even had fish and chips. Ray Knobbs all the way.

It's touching a ton today. We shouldn't have to work. We should all be paddling. My mum just called to say she was on the beach.

The man Mini Bent signed a new 4 year deal yesterday. Quality, although it's not worth the paper it's written on, and if he's banged in a few and we are safe, he'll go in January.

It's a trip to Whitstable on Friday. Although the planned train strike is now off. Well suspended anyway.

There's Channel Fours Wank week coming up. There are a few people I know that much be practicing as I speak.

My tune of the day: Ever after - Rasmus Farber

Little Bent with the Junior Reds Under 8's.

Here's hoping he signs a new contract eh !!!!!!

Why do people smoke but waft it around willy nilly?
Why do people refuse to move down the train but clog up the door?
Why do people half walk half run down the platform to get to the barriers first then spend 5 minutes trying to find their ticket from their bag?
Why do fat people walk in twos'?
Why do people moan about it being hot?

Just a few things that were playing on my mind this morning. Ho hum.

I had a productive weekend. I bought a new fish, finally ... and a small bird table for the front garden. I plonked it right in the middle of the lavender, it looks sweet. The windows and stone work were finished, I just have to make sure I clean the front windows frequently and make sure the stone work gets a wash. Only the conservatory roof and the garden to go ...

Reading the Sunday papers was interesting. Matt Oakley, jeeeez. Is that it? No dis-respect man, but come on.

My tune of the day: All because of you - Leroy Hutson

Deluded

I first saw this mentioned on Netaddicks, and then did a search on the FT Jobboard. Blimey is the only thing I can say. So take a look. I like the comments about:

"A hands on management style is critical to enable the right candidate to interact with both Chairman and Vice Chairman on a daily basis over its management accounts and financial strategy. This strategy is the lifeblood that empowers the success on the pitch. The very success that this Club will attain for the future; a sustained Premiership presence, onto Europe and ultimately, following our recent breakthrough into the USA marketplace, a brand recognised throughout the entire world."

Big Brother!!!!! WTF!!!! It can't be real??? Can it???

So World War 3 is upon us. I was going to have a beigel at lunchtime, but I'll give it a miss.

It appears that there's going to be a Vets match before the Wall game next week. Rufus and Morts ... quality. The football season is upon us.

It was a flying ant day yesterday. Hmmmph ...

Apart from giving loads of catches the English cricket team had a good day yesterday!!!! Bring on the Aussies.

Ashley Cole ... Cheryl Tweedy ... discuss!!!!

My tune of the day: Bus Stop - The Fat Back Band

Greetings from the garden ...

Or it would have been if I had wi-fi. But I don't so I didn't bother posting yesterday. Ho-hum.

I cleared loads of stuff from the patio, and around the edges. I have to clear the garden completely of shrubs etc now, but that's going to take a little longer. G started on the stone work out the front of the flat, and I put the hoover round as my brother cooked dinner again.

So the first test against Pakistan has started. Have England lost yet?

Does anyone know a good IT Support company?

Royal Mail ... charging on the size of your package!!!! Ohhhh marton.

My tune of the day: You and I - Stevie Wonder

Interesting ...

So Jimmy Floyd Road signs and Chris Peacock has joined Wet Spam. So much for loyalty. He needs to work, so goes and joins the Green Lane Gang. I'll be selling his book on ebay.

I enjoyed a meal cooked by the brother last night, and a discussion about the garden. I need to cut up all the shrubs, get rid of the lawn, scrape out all the sh*te between the patio then bobs your uncle. He recons 2 days, I said more like a week. We shall see.

Celebrity Love Island started, and I don't know the majority of them!!!! Not for me.

I did a Body Pump class at lunchtime. Not as good as Body Max but good all the same.

It's a trip to Selfridges tonight, there's a sale on.

My tune of the day: Corker - The Rurals

Another 4 years

Well there we go. The World Cup came and went, there was a slight euphoria, then a damp sqib and then ZZ. Were there any great players? Were there any half decent players? Well whatever the answer it was all spoilt by Zidane. What was that all about!!!!!

Charlton have finally come to life. They've signed an 18 year old from Leeds, given Lloyd Sam a 4 year deal, and unveiled an Arsenal lookalike strip. The away kit is black and gold. Haven't we been there before?

Big Brother rolls on. I haven't been watching but I was dismayed to hear that some people have got right into this series. Blimey!!!!

It was good to see the boys on Friday. They all came of age together. Strange.

I noticed that the work on the Blackwall tunnel seems to have been done. It's not shut on a Sunday night. That made it a 20 mjinute trip from Leytonstone last night as oppossed to over an hour when it was shut.

My tune of the day: Swamp people - Pucho & the Latin Soul Brothers

There but for the grace of god ...

It was a year ago.

It could have happened to any one of us.

I'll let you quietly reflect.

Ah diddums

It's there on the front page of the Sun. Cristiano Ronaldo weeps as Portugal lost. Blimey, move on ... that is so last week. It was quite funny to see the crowd lambast Ronaldo during the match, and the BBC wave their tricolors with pride. It was a shame the match was so shite. England must be kicking themselves.

Still no signings ... hmmmph.

Have you noticed how fat people on the trains sweat!!!! It leaves a stale odor in the air. Not nice. I also had a discussion at the weekend about fat people always eating. Why do they do it?

Does anyone floss?

My tune of the day: Just do it - Sunburst Band

Emails

I've bleedin lost all my emails from MSN Messenger ... so email me your hotmail addresses so I can add ya back ...

Unbelievable

Well there you have it, Italy/ Germany turned out to be a good football match. Nip and tuck, cat and mouse. A good game. I say a good game but blimey some people were proper wanking over it, including the ITV Commentatots. Hold on guys ... its football.

It rained last night. Rained so much that I had to mop out a mini flood.

Still no new signings!!!!! Hmmmph ....

It's Body Attack today ... I'm going to sweat like the proverbial dinner lady.

My tune of the day: Back 2 life - Soul2soul

The Scots One

Well he went out with a whimper .. shame.

It's the World Cup Semi Final tonight. Is anyone that bothered???? Germany against Italy riveting.

It's still a scorcher out there. Air conditioning anyone??????

I replanted my banana plant last night. I'm looking for the damn thing to grow some.

I need to clear the patio this evening. Some pathclearer and a broom. I live the life. I was thinking I could hose it down, but that's not allowed!!!!

It's WorldNet in a couple of weeks. A weekend on the pish in Leeds, nice. Especially dressed as a hulagirl (that's what Smudge wants!!!!)

Luke Young has decided to stay at Charlton. Now this is the same Luke Young who for 2 years was Luke Warm, who plays fotball like he's playing with a hot potato, the same Luke Young who somehow played for England. Nice!!!

I've booked to go and see Sergio Mendes. Here's hoping he plays better than Ronaldinho.

My tune of the day: City of tomorrow - Jean PhiDary

End of the road ...

Well the sun shone ... England lost, Brazil lost, the West Indies lost and bleedin Andy Murray won!!!! (Although he's losing at the mo.)

It's a great event the World Cup, but it's shite when all your teams lose, or your left with a couple of blighters in the semis. That Thierry Henry did it for me. A great player but a cheat!!! You can quote me on that.

Oh and my email is still playing up. They forgot to change the IP address.

It's too hot to sit in doors, so I need to go get an ice cream.

My tune of the day: Time 2 say - D'Neill

No football

Sad fact that last night I missed my dose of footie. I ended up flicking then watching BB, AND HOW SHITE IS THAT. Imogen didnt know what sabotage meant!!!! Even with her million GCSE's and degrees. It was a head shaking moment.

I'm in the middle of an office move ... PC packed away, PC at home buggered ... I've got withdrawals.

There's a spin class I need to get to.

Ho hum ...

My tune of the day: Heaven - Kem

There you go ... Champions of Long Lane.

The Junior Reds Under 8's

 

That's the way ...

So we all settled down to watch Espana wipe the floor with le Blue ... didn't we??? That goes to show what football's all about. What's the point in beating Ukraine 4-0 if you go out and the bleedin Ukrainians just waltz through. Seems like "Hing'lan" are doing the doo, as Betty would say.

I'm still disliking people who smoke, but don't smoke, just waft. Waft off. People who shout on their mobiles. I don't need to know that your going to Lakeside. People who stink!!!! Wash you dirty barstewards. People who are overly critical of people seemingly being PC!!!! What is PC? Saying no to something that's not right!!!! Answers on a postcard. Car drivers that continually bib their horns in a traffic jam. It;s not going to make everything go away. Double glazing salesmen. Fat people who take up seats on the train ... get down the gym.

Still no signings. Ho hum.

I need to change my internet provider ... any suggestions?

My tune of the day: Everybody loves the sunshine - Roy Ayres

From Gilles Petersons myspace

Mail Merge

It's been a few years since I had to do one, but 5 minutes on google and alls good in love and war. The whole thing took 20 minutes, not how I remember it. Just goes to show how good XP is.

So friendlies in Belgium and Holland have been announced. That's got to be better than a West Country tour!!!!

I cant believe how bad Ronaldinho has been in this World Cup. The fat boy has just broken the overal scoring record, but bucky isn't cutting it.

I got some Cazal glasses of ebay this morning. A total bargain. Only 33 euros. You try and find a pair this cheap.

It was Body Max today. There was no air conditioning. Hmmmph ...

My tune of the day: Hot Shot - Karen Young

The rain

I was woken at 5:30 by the sound of rain on the conservatory roof. It was bucketing down. It hasn't stopped since. Hmmmph ...

So half the Portugeezer squad are out of next Saturdays match, where as we only have to worry about Gary Neville. You know what England could be in the Semi Final, without so much as an entertaining phase in any game. The Mexicans however go home, having been involved in one of the all time classics.

It's still raining.

As the football has been ongoing, the cricket team have got worst. I don't hear the same glory hunters banging on about losing to the Sri Lankans as they did in beating the Aussies. The WIndies have been picking up a bit ....

How do you clear Algae from a fishtank? The water is green and I can't see the poor fish.

It's raining ...

I need a holiday. I'm not sure where I want to go. I could do with lying on a beach for a week.

It's still raining.

My tune of the day: Samba Da Bencao - Sergio Mendes

Big phat Ron ...

You wouldn't mind a player quite like Big Phat Ron would you? I know, he seems a bit lardy, but he knows where the goals is.

It was interesting to see Brazil put under the microscope and then hit the ground running. Some interesting players, Juninho, Cincinho, Ricardinho, Hoho and a tiddlee I po, they all seem to be better than Jermaine Jenas. It's going to be a game and a half that Brazil/ Ghana match.

I've got to get the new TV home on the train. Should be interesting.

The suns shining and it's going to be a lovely weekend. Be good ...

My tune of the day: Ordinary Joe - Terry Callier

Told ya ...

Didn't bother with the bore draw Argies vs Holland, I watched the corker that was Serbia/ Montenegro vs Ivory Coast. What a corker. I'm currently watching Ghana, and you have to say that they look a good team (I think them were psyched out against Italy.)

I bought an LCD TV. I'll tell you what it's like when I put it up. If anyone wants to buy a TV let me know. I have 3 different sizes available.

Why do people who smoke walk along wafting their smoke everywhere. Why don't they just smoke the damn thing. It's funny now that you wont be able to smoke in places where Non-smokers congregate!!!! Oh well.

There's the other instance where you are on a train or a bus when someone is eating some foul smelling piece of crap. Why .. why ... why????

Walking reading a newspaper, walking in a line of 3, really slowly ... I've said it before and I'll say it again ... get out of my way.

Oh I've also got a Mini Cooper 1.3i on offer. Anyone want a runaround?

My tune of the day: In My Heart - Kings Of Tomorrow

Five Months

Until we see Mikey Owen back. That's that then, now we need Rooney to have his foot stamped on, Crouch to hit his head on the crossbar, and Walcott to run out of expressed milk. It's a funny old game.

It was obvious it was going to be a draw last night. It always is. The Swedish second was reminiscent of the CIFC second goal in the IFA Cup Final against Hibs. A long throw, bouncy bouncy and a goal.

I feel a little bit footballed out at the moment. It's Iran vs Angola at the moment and I can't get excited. I wasn't to watch the Argies tonight but am drawn to the Ivory Coast match, or shopping.

I'm thinking about getting an LCD TV. Any suggestions to good ones?

My tune of the day: Armed and extremely Dangerous - First Choice

Between the devil and the deep blue sea ...

So it's England vs Sweden. Luckily Svens boys have qualified but a defeat tonight could see Sweden overtake them. Here's hoping that TNT stuff Paraguay, England do the business and everyone's a winner. Apart from Kev that is. If you want to know how Kev is getting on in the Swedish 6th Division, ask him.

I've read that Blue Peter stopped their badges gaining access to UK attractions because they were being sold on ebay!!!! Blimey, are we talking thousands or a few? Those pesky kids.

I spent the evening putting a shelf up last night. Using my new drill it took 10 minutes. I can't believe it's taken me years to invest in a drill!!!! I think I need to get some more shelves, just so I can do more drilling.

I also managed to mop the floor, water some plants, do two batches of ironing, eat an eccles cake and pull up some weeds.

I'm reading Mel Cherens autobiography at the moment "My life and the Paradise Garage" go fill ya boots is what I say.

My tune of the day: Soul Drums - Herb Martin

The weekend

Well that was quick. A couple of days and it's all over. Don't you wish it was just a tad longer?

I have to admit I laughed when South Korea equalised last night. Poor old France. Phaphed around for 80 minutes then conceeded a goal that made Bill Gallas fume. I've been smiling ever since.

It definately is a football fest. I cant work out how Franz Beckenbauer makes it to every game though. That's got to be some chinook.

The weathers turned again. Clammy with showers. It's good weather for the tube.

Seems like the Pilots nearly buggered it up against Beechwood. That sounds like a right old state of affairs.

Seems like CIFC have a game on Saturday. I'm moving rubbish, so that's me sorted.

My tune of the day: That's What Love Does - Vincent Montana & JR./The Philly Sound Orchestra/William 'Smoke' Howard

That was close

As Big G said from his Canadian hideaway, Port Vales finest gave our boys a hell of a run around last night. Thank fk for Peter Crouch!!!!

It made me laugh at the time, but it's also the quote of the day in the Sun, step forward Gareth Southgate " The goals comongh, it's just a matter of it we run out of time." Strange boy the new Boro manager.

Jonathan "Inspector" Spector has been snapped up by Wet Sham. Blimey that was close. I have to say, I haven't seen an as inept player for a few years now. He wasn't much cop, but hey what do I know.

I like the look of the Ecuador kit.

It was really that bad ... wasn't it? The miss from Peter Crouch in the first half had the whole country clenching their cheeks. Michael Owen, he's not match fit is he!!! Bent or Defoe anyone.

I do buy the Sun. There are times when I wonder why, then I read Ally Ross on a Friday. He muses ... random World Cup irritations, Gabby Logan asking Townsend about post-colonial Africa. Cotton bud microphones!!!!! Coleen McLoughlin believes she can "go halves" with her boyfriend on a £50,000 dog kennel sponsorship. Wayne pays two halves, Coleen pays no halves. He then talks about Big Brother. Well I have to say I haven't watched it this time, because it's shite, but he says the new housemates husband paid £4,000 on chocolate so she could get in there (so they say) but how funny would it be for him to sit there watching her cop off with Glyn?

There is a maths quiz/ test in the paper this morning. They are banging on !!!! It's quite sad really. I was going to put some of the questions up, but I couldn't be bothered to type them up. Take my word, anyone with an ounce of common would do them.

I've just picked up the new Soul Heaven (Kerri Chandler/ Dennis Ferrer) CD. Well worth a look.

No signings at Charlton.

My tune of the day: Heaven - Kem

Home by 5 ...

So will the trains be full of stinking, yawning, rucksack wearing clodhoppers at 4:30 this evening? That'll be if there are any trains running. You watch as the network shuts down from 4 as all the train drivers acll in sick. It's sunny and ENGLAND'S ON THE TELE.

One think I've noticed is why do they sing "I'm England til I die????" Shouldn't it be "I'm English til I die!!!!!" Just a thought.

I watched the German game last night as I was clearing out the conservatory. They looked quite good. Spain didn't look bad either.

Matt recons it's going to be touching 100 degrees this wekend. Phew what a scorcher. I'll get some lard and sunbath then.

It's in the Sun. We'll be colonising the Moon by 2030. However the moons gravity is much weaker than Earths and there is no atmosphere. Hmmm , a bit like living in Croydon then!!!!!!

My tune of the day: Bring Down The Walls - Robert Owens

My good deed ...

There you go, someones had their cat nicked from Forest Hill. It could be worst could be shot in Forest Gate !!!!!!

Word from the pink oboe list is that for the sake of a few herberts living in Kent, Charlton should up and RELOCATE TO EBBSFIELD !!! Whereever that is? So that makes the Valley Party pretty redundent. And given that 1.14 inches of rain fell on Gravesend in an hour yesterday you could set up an umbrella factory.

I watched the whole of the Brazil match last night. It was the first match I've had on all the way through, you know without flicking. Apart from England but I wasn't in doors for that. I thought they played quite well. For a team that peeps thinks should just turn up to win. I thought Juan was their best player.

It's raining again!!!! Sod that.

What is it with people walking so slow. They all bunch up and won't let you pass. It's not funny.

My tune of the day: Rain - Kerri Chandler

Taken from the Guardians Saturday magazine. Supposedly Hither Green is an up and comming area. Although you tend to read this an wonder what Hither Green they are reviewing.

I got this from a blog called personal ramblings from a guy who lives in Hither Green. You read it, you take it in .. then dissect it and realise that what I want and most people is something completely different.

To quote a few things from the blog -

"So why would I want to leave this place? A number of reasons both due to the flat and the area, the later due to it's location and, I have to say it, dullness. While it is quite quick to get into central London, having to stick to trains (there isn't a direct bus route, I'd have to change twice to get to the same area of central London) does limit you."

Why get a bus when a train works? Why do you want to live in an area that is full of noise, clubs, pubs, vomit, vandalism ... ?

Stick to Hither Green, it's couple of beggars, it's halfway house, it's skip hire place, it's weird Saturday meat factory. It works for me.

I woke this morning to torrential rain. When it rains hard it falls down onto the conservatory roof in great volume. There are weeds growing out of the guttering and it stops the water running smoothly along. I'll have to get this sorted as well, I can't be having that. My feet are sodden ... why are shoes not made water tight?

It was one of them wet, sweaty, damp train journeys this morning. Windows shut because of the rain, people kicking up because they had been caught in it. I couldn't stay like that all day.

I actually did something constructive last night. I put another coat of paint on the side wall in the kitchen, I put two pictures up, and contemplated putting a shelf up. Contemplated because I couldn't find my spirit level. When I finally realised it was in my new toolbox it was too late. The kitchen is getting there, and hopefully by Saturday it will be complete!!!!

Then it will be onto the conservatory. Once I've cleared out some of the old junk. Moved the wardrobe, the fridge-freezer, the cabinet, the empty boxes. Painted the bare wall, cleaned the curtains, and mopped the floor.

Oh Charlton have moved their reserve team down to Gravesend. Why don't they just move the whole shebang down to Kent, piss Scally off some more and have done with it. I wouldn't have to waste my time then.

My tune of the day: Life Ain't What It Seems - Sterling Ensemble & Sara Devine

We're off and running

Well there we go. The weather hit a high of 84 degrees in Germany nicely giving Sven an excuse to the lacklustre performance. The weather was about 80ish over at Canary Wharf on Saturday as 600 revellers enjoyed the game. It was mostly good natured came the report. Mostly!!!!!! Until 200 blokes/ gals started throwing beer, fighting and doing that suburban Saturday night thing. It makes you proud. Oh and not a Paraguayan in sight.

As for the football, apart from the Argies and the Ivorians who were unlucky to lose, it's been a bit of a tame afair. England, Holland both won but didnt set the world alight. Sweden ... well Kev may get a game for them yet. All power to T&T, but England will beat them, and progress to phase 2.

I'm looking forward to Italy/ Ghana tonight.

It was my weekend as white van driver man. Up at 8 on Saturday, around the South Circular, back through the Blackwell Tunnell, over to Lakeside. Blimey, my left foot aches from using a van with manual transmission. All power to power steering. It was good to sit out in the sun yesterday, if only under a beer umbrella, sipping Vodka for Keeleys birthday. I do like Hoxton. It's dirty, dark, dingey and smells ... that's what Londons all about. It puts Manchester and Liverpool to shame.

My tune of the day: Wanted Dead or Alive - Voices of East Harlem

I just found this ...

It's upon us ...

Well here we are ... every 4 years we have a proper Big Daddy Football fest. I can't believe that Japan/ Korea was 4 years ago. How time flies.

It'll be loads of dancing and singing for the opening ceremony, then the Germans against the Costa Ricans. Go on Paulo.

It's an early start with me doing my White Van Man impression. I'm not sure how I get talked into this stuff. Ho hum.

I just hope the sun continues to shine ... and I hope you all have a great weekend.

My tune of the day: Esteban - DJ Oji & Esteban

Wave that flag ...

So it all starts tomorrow, then we have England on Saturday. Result. I'm thinking of going round SirBobJims laden with Paraguayan goodies. But what do Paraguayans eat/ drink?

Find out and let me know.

I've also got a chorizo that I picked up from Barca. It's either Stir fried chorizo with asparagus, or Pan fried chorizo and prawns for Sunday brunch. What do you think?

Still no news of any signings for the Haddocks. Twaddle about Sidwell, Young and Routledge continue to take up space ... but we should be trying to get Pele on a short contract to link up with Ronaldo (the real one) and the boy Lineaker.

Oh David Camerons on the Hip Hop is to blame for all the youth crime tip. Nothing to do with Chavtastic parents, a computer game culture, baseball hats, no respect for authority, oh and baseball hats. Bleedin hell, Cameron should tell us about the Tories policies on tax/ education/ health and crime before telling us it's all down to Hip Hop. He'll be telling us drug culture is down to the summer of love and that we should all aspire to be Jim Davidson.

Oh, talking about Jim Davidson, I somehow ended up watching the Channel 5 show about him last night. Oh well ...

My tune of the day: Baby Wants To Ride - Jamie Principle

Two days and counting

Til we get to see Right Said Fred, back and in shocking full effect. Cometh the World Cup and cometh the men, as they say Deeply Dippy.

Oh I forgot to mention it was the 6th of June yesterday, the end of the world!!!! No that'll be Saturday when Paraguay score their third.

I still don't believe that Peter Crouch will lead England onto glory. I just have visions of him bandy legged and pished. Robo dancing, you can keep it.

It seems that Mr Jordan is going to get his man. Step forward Graeme Souness ... but this is after assurances about ambition and spending plans.

Now Michael Fish has been saying we'll get sun for the next few days, etc, etc. What's the chances it will rain at the weekend? Or on Sunday when it's Keeleys birthday and we were heading for Hoxton. Shorts or no shorts, that's more of a Noel Edmonds tip.

Now I've said that it's come over all overcast ... Definitely not a whooooosh.

My tune of the day: Fancy Lady - Billy Preston

Fan the flames ...

So we've done Hip hop, yes I'm aware that the Clash were influencial but they didn't influence me ... so now we can discuss Garage Music.

So do we do the Drem Team thingy from a few years ago, you know two stepping, do we do the Jamie Principal thing from the early 90's ... or head straight back to 78 and the Paradise Garage?

Maybe we just go with Paul "Trouble" Anderson and say House is where I live, Garage is where I park my car.

But hang on, people just bandy this word Garage around and expect you to fall in line. Garage is about the Paradise Garage. It's 84 King Street, New York City, IT'S GARAGE.

Oh England lost the cricket and drew the series. Did you see Muri bowl ... now that is House.

Homeowners should be allowed to have Taser guns to defend themselves. So says a Tory MP!!!!! What next machetties if you own a garden?

Has anyone looked up Lea Walker on google? Go on you know you want to.

My tune of the day: At Midnight - T-Connection

It's all in the name

Well, to quote from Netaddicks, about Music we like and music we dislike, we get the comment:

Any sampled old tune with rapping ... or whatever its called over the top! Thieving talentless shysters.

It makes me laugh ... oh it does really. Joe Public can live their life and listen to Oasis, the Libertines or whatever band they want, but finds it deep within themselves to slag off something they really don't know or understand. It's not for me to justify what Rap/ Hip-Hop is about, cause there are only bits and pieces that do it for me, but to slag off a whole genre. There's a reason why Hip Hop is ... go look up Kool Herc on Google. Maybe look up Block Party, Grandmaster Flash, even Kool Mo Dee.

Let's get a break down from Wikipedia -

Hip hop music (also referred to as rap or rap music) is a style of popular music. It is made up of two main components: rapping (MCing) and DJing (audio mixing and scratching). Along with breakdancing and graffiti (tagging), these compose the four elements of hip hop, a cultural movement that was initiated by inner-city youth, African Americans, in New York City in the early 1970s.
Typically, hip hop music consists of one or more rappers who tell semi-autobiographic tales, often relating to a fictionalized counterpart, in an intensely rhythmic lyrical form making abundant use of techniques like assonance, alliteration, and rhyme. The rapper is accompanied by an instrumental track, usually referred to as a "beat", performed by a DJ, created by a producer, or one or more instrumentalists. This beat is often created using a sample of the percussion break of another song, usually a funk, rock, or soul recording. In addition to the beat other sounds are often sampled, synthesized, or performed. Sometimes a track can be instrumental, as a showcase of the skills of the DJ or producer.
Hip hop began in New York City when DJs began isolating the percussion break from funk and disco songs. The early role of the MC was to introduce the DJ and the music and to keep the audience excited. MCs began by speaking between songs, giving exhortations to dance, greetings to audience members, jokes and anecdotes. Eventually this practice became more stylized and became known as rapping. By 1979 hip hop had become a commercially popular music genre and began to enter the American mainstream. In the 1990s, a form of hip hop called gangsta rap became a major part of American music, causing significant controversy over lyrics which were perceived as promoting violence, promiscuity, drug use and misogyny. Nevertheless, by the beginning of the 2000s, hip hop was a staple of popular music charts and was being performed in many styles across the world.

What do I know? Well I know that it's had more of an influence on my life than the Clash, the Rolling Stones, or the goddam Beatles.

Anyway, I quite like calling a bitch a bitch.

My tune of the day: Beat Street - Grandmaster Flash

Lehman ruins the party

Hands up how many of you laughed when Jens Lehman was sent off in the Champions League final? Well it seems like it scuppered our Euro ambitions.

Spoken from the heart ...

Cue Paul Parker. You remember him, from the 1990 World Cup and then from a disastrous time as manager of Welling United. Well he has a few things to say ...

"It is easy to say we are going to win it but they are just words," he said.
"I prefer to look at things in a slightly more realistic way. "We were beaten by Northern Ireland in qualifying - and deservedly so - because we were tactically awful and we are also missing Wayne Rooney, who is the one man who can really make something out of nothing for us.
"With him out, there are a few people within the squad who need to stand up and be counted - and I am not sure the quality is there.
"Certainly, I don't think the strength in depth is anywhere near what we had in 1990, nor during Euro 96 for that matter.
"I don't think we are good enough on the counter attack and I don't see us opening up the best sides just by knocking long balls up to Peter Crouch.
"I hope we do well, I really do. But there are a lot of questions to be answered by the current squad and I am just concerned we are getting carried away."

Get in there Paul. You call it like it is. I have to say he nails home a few home truths there, but hey, I've seen your team selection.

It seems Jase might have missed out on playing against England. Out on the piss a few days before the match doesn't bode well. Well I would do it, but then again I'm not a well paid Premiership footballer.

I actually watched Big Brother last night. I was in bed and couldn't find the remote, so just let it play. Hmmm, is the only word I can use. That Sleazer, a proper sleaze bag ... oh well I'll watch Celebrity Pop Idol tonight.

I'm thinking of going here tomorrow.

My tune of the day: Everybody Loves A Good Thing - Patrick Adams Presents Phreek

A proper Idiot

It's all quite strange really, this idiot does an idiotic dance and he's cemented his place in Svens starting line up. He has the Sun finding builders to do the dance. It is me ... or is there a destinct lack of rythm?

I just booked to go and see Sergio Mendes at the Barbican. He's got a new album out, remixed by the Black Eyed Peas, and it sounds good. I actually need to get out to a few more of these. Proper music.

I decided to have a break from the gym today. My legs are killing me, my ankles are numb and my back hurts. It's all good.

The World Cup starts next week. The Soca Warriers have been getting ahiding, so nothing for England to worry about. Its Jase the ace on saturday. Go on son.

A walk down Brick Lane I think is on the cards ...

My tune of the day: Roots - Willie Bobo

It's a funny old game ...

We've all scored them. You know, you're 25 yards out you swing your boot and it flies into the corner. Cue Peter Crouch. Yep the Robot is going to win England the World Cup.

More fun and games down in SE7 as Chris Perry is shown the door. This is the same Chris Perry who cost 100k a couple of years ago, and has been worth every penny. When you see the likes of Sorondo it does make you wonder.

We've now been told Bothroyd has left. Blimey, what with JJ, Bartlett and Jetters leaving we're a bit short up front!!!! We'll we were short with them in the squad. That leaves the way open for Kevin Lisbie.

After fretting that Lost had lost its spark, I was pleasantly surprised last night. The show was spot on, back to it's best without the bleedin hatch.

The posh twat has left Big Brother.Or so I have read in the paper. I've not watched it. It's crap, boring and full of idjuts. Can't they put Simon Jordan in there?

Here's a question for you. Do any of you know any websites that do cheap flights? Ideally to Newark.

My tune of the day: Touch - Amerie

Bish ... bash ... bosh

Well that's the long weekend over. A day in the rain on Saturday, was superceded by a day on a boat, whibbley wobblying around, drinking, dancing and generally having a great time. Bow ties re where it's at .... trust me.

It was a funny sort of weekend. The rain made it like October not May, and there was a dampness in the air. Selfridges was full of sodden gliteratzi, preening themselves ... oh how I rocked in my tight green trackies and brown shoes.

Well I got the text at 11:58 ... Iain Dowie, Lucky Les and Mark Robson (the best crosser in the club) are the new dream team. Gerry called at 12:45 to tell me it's live on Sky. I replied it was at 12, noon. No not the conference, the baliff trying to serve Dowie with a writ. Oh the Orange one ... he's very bitter isn't he? Take a deep breath Si ...

I ate loads of crisps yesterday. Too many if I'm honest. As I slumbered trying to watch the Sound of Music. Isn't that what Bank Holidays are all about?

It seems like Michael Owen has a slight injury. This means Croucky will play against the Magyars tonight. Andy Johnson must be loving every moment. It looks like a World Cup place and a move away from Palarse.

Did I mention that the West Indies have won a one day series. It must be the first since the World Cup in 83!!!! Bring on Monty and his mob.

I need to go to the gym ... Body Pump here I come ...

My tune of the day: War - Edwin Starr

It's Tuesday then ...

So watch this space

Only by name ...

Is it me or was that England team put out last night a "B" team by name only? There were players there striving to be included in the team when they kick off aginst Paraguay in a few weeks time. I suppose only Aaron Lennon did himself any favours, but hey it was all abit fizzy pop and no substance. They keep showing a backheel that went to the keeper ... !!!!! You have to feel sorry for Robert Green. A year underperforming at Norwich and now this. He scuffed his clearance, thwacked his foot on the floor, bulled his groin the Belarus player scored and he's carried off in a dustbin. As the headlines said ... Bela - rubbish.

So it's the second test and the heavens have opened in Brum. It's not even funny. The sun should be shinning, they should be playing on a wicket like a piece of glass and there should be 400 on the board.

It's the Bank Holiday weekend. Huuurrraaahhh. Three days, how good is that. Well Four may be better.

I could only find the Afro Ken umbrella this morning. That does make me chuckle.

Its the boat party on Sunday ... ships ahoy.

My tune of the day: You are so beautiful - Billy Preston

Ignorance is bliss ...

It dawned on me that I was infact watching car crash TV last night. Yes, year on year Big Bro gets worst, that's because they have to keep on scrapping the bottom of the barrel to find these people. Supposedly that Imogen has been kept warm for months. They were going to put her in Celebrity, but Chantelle got their first. I was told she was humourous, witty and would make this show special ... special needs more like it. I can't work out how Bonnie and Glyn made it through the audition!!!!! What have they brought to the party?

It now appears Dawn has walked off the show ... the end of the line can't be far away.

On the footie front it appears we are well and truely fuked. Seems like our Billy doesnt want to move South and we'll be left with Iain Dowie. A Palace reject, is this what it's come to. Go and offer the job to Keith Peacock with Alan Curbishley upstairs. See if they will do it.

Oh back to Big Brother. Have you noticed how their isn't a Black Male on the show. What too confrontational? I did wonder.

My tune of the day: Vulture - Labi Siffre

Big Brother

I have to say this show has finally run it's course. I haven't really been watching it, Soccer Aid is much better, but I watched it tonight when I witnessed a group assassination of one person. Group Bullying, intimidation, total bollocks really. It's a game show ... Shabbaz was playing the game. I'd have to say that I'd have lasted a day in that place with those fukwits.

Exclusive - World Cup Squad Selection

Nancy swished into the breakfast bar in her sheer black silk dressing
gown, neatly cut to the thigh and dropped a brochure in front of Sven.
"The Old Walled Cottage", it said.

"Vat is this?" asked Sven, peering at it.

"It is the perfect geddaway for after the World Cup. Verra, verra high
walls so no sneakin paparazzi canna see us makin' wild passionate
love", she said, "Hey, Sven, whaddaya doin' wiv the breakfast tings?"


"I am finalising ze squad fer the Werld Cup", said Sven, neatly tricked
out in his paisley dressing gown, sipping fresh orange juice.

"Wassat, then?" asked Nancy, pointing to a row of neatly lined up
boiled eggs.

"That is a defensive wall, Nancy", replied Sven, primly, before
shouting, "Hey Tord, more boiled eggs".

Tord Grip bustled into the room, in waiter's outfit, carrying more
boiled eggs and toast. "Here you go boss". He stopped, startled. "Hey
she's just bashed in Ledley King's head! And now she's a eatin' his brains."

Sven looked sadly at the hole in his wall and then at Nancy poking at
the broken egg with a toast soldier. "It's a sign, Tord", he said.
"We'll take Campbell". He moved a large pepperpot into the wall.

"Now whatsa this?" asked Nancy, pointing at an array of knives and
forks, spread over much of the table top.

"Those, Nancy, are my offensive tactics," he pointed to a knife, "This
is Shaun Wright-Phillips and this is Darren Bent. I intend to use them
in combination to spread fear and alarm ..."

"Faria Alam!" screeched Nancy, lurching forward to grab the unfortunate
offensive duo and hurling them at Sven's head. Sven coolly ducked just
in time, and the knives embedded themselves in a picture of the FA
management team, circa 2002. "Don't a you mention the name of that woman to me!"

Sven peered at the quivering knives and nodded his head slightly.
"Tord, we will not take Bent or Wright-Phillips, the omens are not
good. And can you get me some more strikers."

"OK", said Tord. "Steve!".

Steve Maclaren stuck his head out of the serving hatch, looking flushed
with his chef's hat awry. "Yes?"

"More strikers for the boss."

"Ah, Nancy at it again?"

"Yep".

"Who do you want?"

"Who you got left".

"I'll go check", Steve, ducked back into the kitchen.

Meanwhile Sven had calmed the quivering Nancy. "OK", she said,
"Whaddabout the toast?"

"The toast lays out my formation for the first round," he looked at
Nancy sadly. "Nancy, you hav eaten Jermaine Defoe's left leg. 'Ow can I
take a striker wiv no left leg?"

Nancy shrugged, and munched on the unfortunate striker's other lower limb.
"P'raps you need to change your formation." She indicated a marmite
covered soldier. "Why not push Cole forward, ee's a goal scorer
no?"

Sven threw his hands in the air in excitement.

"Eureka!" he exclaimed.


Nancy shreaked. "Don't a you mention the name of that Swedish trollop
to me," and grabbing hold of Andy Johnson by the handle started chasing
Sven around the table, pausing only to hurl a bottle of HP sauce across
the room.

Eventually Sven managed to calm the irate Italian: "So you see Nancy, I
was calling you a genius".

Nancy's eye's narrowed - "You asure you not going after some Greek
floozy now?"

"No, Nancy, but now I need another striker".

Tord re-entered the room and set down a tray of bacon and eggs. Looking
down he gasped.


"Boss, look".

Sven walked over to look down at the table to where his assistant was
staring. It was Nancy's advertisement for their post-Cup hidaway. But
where before it had said:

THE OLD WALLED COTTAGE

It was now stained with HP sauce from Nancy's attack and what was left
revealed:

THE O** WAL*** COTT***

Sven looked at Tord. Tord looked at Sven. In unison they chimed:

"It's a sign!"

**********

Go on then, you find a better explanation

It's all about body language ...







And not floppy hair and a perma tan.

The weather becomes more and more a bone of contention. Can we just have a week of sun shine. Is it too much to ask for?

I'm not feeling it today ....

My tune of the day: I believe in You - Amp Fiddler

Summer Holiday ...

HOSE PIPE BAN ... WATER SHORTAGE ...water meters ...ARE THEY FUCKIN SERIOUS.

I saw this comment on the Faith Board, oh it did make me chuckle. It's like winter ...

Still no news on a new manager. It actually getting boring.

I had a drunken night out at the Player on Friday. It's been a good few months since, I had a Friday out. Gin and Tonics rock.

Why do people refuse to move down the trains? The 7:54 this morning saw a group of numpties standing in the doorway, whilst the rest of the carriage was empty. When you ask to be let past they give you a look, so the only thing to do is barge past. It makes my morning. It was pissing with rain, so the whole carriage stunk of wet people!!!!

It's the bank holiday next Monday ... ho hum.

My tune of the day: Mr. Bojangles - John Holt

What the difference a day makes ....

Well this time yesterday we could only summise. Who would it be, would they have the rlevant experience etc, etc ...

Well now we know.

It's that freeking, geeking Big Brother. As much as I don't want to watch, there I was, PJ's and Mug of tea, squirming as they brought each and every one in. What I thought though was the need for a normal person. Just a normal, two up, two down ... football loving, beer drinking, South Londoner. Well that's normal to me. Thirteen weeks and counting.

I was watching Sky Sports News last night as the breaking news flashed across the bottom of the screen. Peter Taylor pulls out of the race to be the next Charlton boss. A little later they had him on the phone, saying how the more he thought about it the more he didn't want to be considered. All too public for my liking, but hey Pete has to be seen to be doing the right thing.

I did smile at Richard Hunts take on things. From the Pink Oboe list -

"Maybe he is insecure about his abilities, and once he had been to the interview and realised what is needed to manage a mid size Prem club he got cold feet. Happens in all kinds of management recruitment. I see it every week."

How many of you have managers that don't have the first idea about managing? They seem to have fallen into the possitions with no management skills at all, and it appears they don't want to learn any. Look after your staff ... not ruddy likely.

Anyway, for what ever reason Peter the Taylor is no more, if he ever was ... and now we can turn to Billy Davies and Sammy Lee. I was trying to think of that old Liverpool Sammy Lee song. I asked the boss here who says he is a Liverpool fan. He didn't know who Sammy Lee was!!!!!! It amazes me sometimes.

It's the late May bank holiday next weekend. The last one before the late August one. Where does the bleedin year go? Timbo's down and it's the boat party. It was the kilt last year, so I've got to find an outfit that out does that one ... it may be hard. But I'll give it a go.

Seems like Thierry is going to stay ... a big fish in a little pond me thinks. Test yourself against the best in the World Thierry, or play against Linvoy Primus ... the choice is yours.

I can't believe the weather. It's cold and wet and we have a drought alert.

My tune of the day: What a Difference a Day Makes - Dinah Washington

  

  

Heroic !!!!!

Well that's the lead story in the Standard. Arsenal by all accounts were heroic!!! Maybe I was watching a different match.

To start with Thierry Henry, who the Standard labellled the best player in the world missed two gilt edged chances. They then bleated on about an offside goal which was definately onside. The keeper got sent off for a professional foul. He didnt have to make the challenge, he could have stood on his feet tried to put the player off, but NO .. he brought him down ... end off ... a straight red card. You live by the sword ... you, well you all know.

I sat there watching Arsenal defend the lead and you always knew that chances would come. As soon as it went 1-1 the game was up.

Oh and another thing, Eboue dived to win the freekick from which thy scored. No castigation there then ... bloody typical I say.

What goes beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep ... ????

The Arsenal open top bus reversing back into the garage.

Still no news on the new manager front!!!!! It's getting a bit boring I can tell you.
At least we have BB to beat the boredom, come this evening. I can't wait ...

My tune of the day: Batmacumba - Gilberto Gil

Is it me ...

that find the fact that Chelsea have signed Michael Ballack on a reputed £130k a week disgusting!!!! At what point is a footballer worth this as well as a £2million pound signing on fee? It's football, it's not a heart surgeon, or a politician.

The champions league final ... hmmmph. I quite like Arsenal as a team. I can admire Bergkamp, Henry ... but do despise their fans. The spiel sanctimonious tosh, look down on you because you support a real team, and live in North London the land of dogs on string and a need for a wash. Come on Barca, just put these idiots in their place.

It all seems to be a bit negative re Peter Taylor. There's been a shed load of Leicestershire fans on the Netaddicks board saying how he ruined their club. It's hard to disagree not knowing all the facts, but come on ... I've got faith in the man up stairs. Richard Murray that is.

It's the start of Big Brother on Thursday. I hate Big Brother, and intend not to watch. That made me chuckle anyway.

My tune of the day: I Like Old School - Miguel Picasso

Living it large ...

I took the day off yesterday,not to get over the fact that Peter Taylor is favourite with the bookies, but to get over my meal at the Fat Duck on Sunday. I went for the tasting menu which contained in no particular order: -

SNAIL PORRIDGE, SARDINE ON TOAST SORBET, SALMON POACHED WITH LIQUORICE, MANGO AND DOUGLAS FIR PUREE, CARROT AND ORANGE TUILE, SMOKED BACON AND EGG ICE CREAM AND HOT AND COLD TEA.

It was a remarkable meal, 14 courses all in all and come the end which was 4.5 hours down the line I was stuffed. I somehow managed to get back to South London, without falling into a deep sleep. I nodded off on the train but was woken up by a family of Chavs discussing STD's. You couldn't make it up.

I ended up going to see the Blue Man Group yesterday. Very strange all round, but all very enjoyable. Lots of drumming, painting, strobelights and paper. You have to go and see it.

My tune of the day: What Makes the World Go Round - Stephanie Cooke

It's hot

Hotter than July even ... but do you realise that it's going to rain tomorrow. Especially for the cup final ... happy days.

I had macaroni cheese for my dinner last night. It would have been tea oop North and I would have had a cheese sandwich for my dinner. But in effect I had a cheese sandwich for my lunch and the maccaroni cheese for my dinner, not my tea!!!!! What is that all about?

It's the FA Cup final tomorrow. Liverpool v West Ham. I think i'm going to paint a wall. That's got to be better than watching that old bunkum, or having a barbeque and watching that old bunkem.

This time last week I was in the Sands having my first drink of the weekend. How time flies.

Still no news on the new manager, but I did get a text about the Elton John concert. Not for me, not for me.

My tune of the day: Space Talk - Masters Of The Universe

Twack, crack .. twat

It's the start of the Cricket season ... 130ish for one, ho hum. Will the match last til Saturday?

Seems like Liverpool will be replacing the stolen FA Cup final tickets. The FA are blaming them for sending the tickets out insecurely ... bad admin, well I never.

Boro got a good seeing too. Just goes to show how poor we really are. Stuart Downing, World Class!!!!! Well we'll never win the World Cup with Downing and Crouch in the team.

Bloody Blogger, I'm always losing half the stuff I write. That's what I say anyway.

It appears that Peter Taylor is the name being mentioned in regards to the Charlton hotseat. That may suit Benty who worked with Taylor in the England Under 21's. Here's hoping that its all good for Benty.

I was chatting at lunchtime about Bum bags. I'm thinking that they are going to be the accessory of the summer. What do you think?

My tune of the day: King Of The Beats - Mantronix

Need a shave

A picture from Southport. Saturday afternoons wont be the same.

Blow me down

There's a story out there that 1600 Cup Final tickets have been stolen. The FA or the Millenium Stadium or someone who's up their own ass won't replace the tickets. So some poor sod who's paid maybe £75 for a ticket is left with nothing!!!! How does that work. Surely the tickets are insured, and the Post Office would have to reimburse people? Say that was me. Charlton had got to the Final, I know ... I know, but I had been told my ticket had been lost and I wouldn't be getting a replacement. WTF. I'd be asking a few questions.

The sun is shinning and it's quite hot. Don't you just love days like this?

I'm going for an ice cream ...

My tune of the day: Useless - Kerri Chandler

Room with a view

So there you have it, Byron Stingley dressed to impress, doing his best to give us a sound that means so much to many people. Byron Stingley has been at the forfront of "House" for 20 years and his performance on Sunday afternoon was top draw.

The weekender has come and gone, 4 days of drinking, smiling, music, people, laughing, and House. Even Ginge enjoyed himself, now that must be a first.

The funniest thing was speaking to some Scousers on Saturday who thought that Charlton could do them a favour on Sunday and beat UManU meanning theyu could steal second place. I laughed, and said no chance ... it's great to be able to know your team. It appears that Vince may have got thrown out, or even arrested ... not sure of the details. It was also funny being with Clive a Spud and some of the Arsenal boys. Poor old Clive definately put all his eggs in one basket as he was betting people left right and centre. I told him they had no chance, so its great that I can see the Charlton in other teams as well. Poor old Spudz Murphy, ten players out and he can still only get on the bench.

Did I say how good the Weekender was? Kerri Chandler playing in the Sands on Sunday night. How much of a corker was that? The Official After Party missed the boat here ... but they always do.

I was o the train from London Bridge yesterday when I got a text saying we had signed Cory Gibbs from Feyenoord. As a US International, Cory will be reresenting the US in the Soccerball World Cup this Summer. At least that makes it one player Charlton will have in the tournament. Thanks to Sven that is.

I won't even start on the Swedish Meatball with what he's done here. To think that England had a good chance of progressing in the tournament, with Owen and Rooney up the top, but now we are left with Crouch, Joe Cole and Theo Walcott!!!!! Hold on Andy Johnson is on standby, so there may be a glimmer.

I need to eat a few salads. I am actually craving tomatoe and green beans. I ate crisps and rubbish at the weekend!!!!! Have I told you how good the weekender was though?

I can't believe that Darren Bent isn't going to the World Cup. He's on fire, the top English Goalscorer. He's come through the Under 17's, the Under 18's and has played for the Under 21's scoring important goals along the way. So what's the point we ask? Ask the departing meatball?????

My tune of the day: I dont want you any more - The Muthafunkers 

Families at war

Families eh ... who'd have them!!!! My bro is moving to France and has finally decided he'd tell me .... when I said it would have been nice to have known earlier he said it was historical. What that means I do not know?

Right ... I hope you all watched the Apprentice last night. What a shower of shit it was. Some complete and utter toss pots, Paul Tulip for one ... then Brummie Ruth who couldnt use the Queeens English if her old grannys life depended on it, forgetable Michelle and the only good guy Ansell, but they had a black bloke win last year so that wasn't going to happen was it. I couldnt get over all the chat about lying on their CV's. That does all seem a bit strange to me.

Zoe Ball on Strictly Pole Dancing ... a non starter to er, start with ... surely?

It seems like Wayne Rooney is out of the World Cup. It's okay though, up steps Peter Crouch.

It's the Southport Weekender should be a hoot.

My tune of the day: Inner City Blues (Makes Me Wanna Holler) - Reuben Wilson

Page 71

At first I thought it was a joke!!!! But no, it's a small ad tucked away in the bottom right hand corner of todays Daily Mail. Wanted a First Team Manager .... note Manager not Coach.

Is this the way for an established Premiership Football Club to do their business? Would any other club stick an advert like this in a cheap and nasty paper? No of course not. This is the problem. We've been out of the market for 15 years, the days of advertising in the Daily mail have long gone. They should have tried Monster, or City Jobs.

How many dodgy applications do you think this will bring in? 100!!!! 200!!!! I wouldn't like to be Charlton Athletic HR. They'll have to sypht through some right old toot.

News just in .... Glen Hoddle will be staying on as Wolves boss for next year. Phew!!!!!

In was the start of Series 2 of Lost last night. Two hours of stuff I didnt understand. I say 2 hrs, but I fell asleep in the last half hour. I woke up to a repeat of the Sopranos.

I actually voted yesterday. Postal voting means I dont have to traipse to the local school, but who knows what happens to it once it's posted!!!! It could end up anywhere.

My tune of the day: Far Beyond - Sunburst Band 

The King is dead ... long live the King

Well there you go. You all knowthe news, you all have your views on why, where, when ... and who. But it's been an emotional few days.

I think we knew something was up, when what appeared to be the whole club turned up on the pitch. There was everyone including the tea lady. Someone has pointed out that Tord Grip was even on the pitch, but what that was alla about I don't know. Anyway ...we had been in Legends for Teddys birthday. A carvery, and sticky toffee pudding set the day off to a great start. I would say that I was quite stunned by the announcement. You can understand how it came about though. Curbs wanted one more year, but wouldn't commit beyond that. That left Murray in a no win situation ... and better he gets it right now, than stew on it for a year. As long as he doesnt appoint Twoddle that is. It seems strange that Curbs won't be in charge any more. I'm not going to UManU as I'll be at Southport, but it may be a strange day. I'm not sure how Curbs will feel, emotional no doubt but not as emotional as some of the fans. There were a few lumps in throats, a few tears ... and I don''t care what people say, I couldn't see the point in leaving 10 minutes before the end of the game. What was all that about? Fifteen years and you can't even spend 20 minutes to see him off. Typical of some of the people.

I'm also advocating wearing bow ties to football matches. I had a nice brown number on on Saturday that when nicely with the Sherman shirt and Tacchini tracksuit top. You had to see it. But it surprised even me.

On another note, it made me laugh when Big Phil turned down the England coaches role. Do the press actual seem bothered? I doubt it!!!! But it's funny given that they don't care. Good on Big Phil, he gets a lot of respect from me ...

As for future Charlton managers. I would like to see Stevie Coppel. Just so I could sing bthat song ... the one about his birth certificate.

My tune of the day: 4 The Love - Karizma & DJ Spen

Cup of tea, slice of cake ....

Big Phil, or not Big Phil. That is the question ... or not, as the case may be. Is anyone really that bothered. Do Aston Villa really want Curbo? That seems strange, but what do I know.

At least the sun is shinning, and the kitchen is nearly done. Just a few doors to be painted, and its a long weekend.

Had a great email this morning from Keeley saying how she had been out with Wendal and ended up in SoSho which was full of vile, letchy, drunk cityites. That's the City for you. A quality night out.

This time next week, I'll be OOOP North. My dancing shoes are at the ready.

It's just dawned on me, its Craig Bellamy, Paul Dikov and Robbie Savage tomorrow. So lots of exciting football then!!!! I'm worried they won't let me in the Carvary with flip-flops on. Well flip-flops and a bow tie.

My tune of the day: This Means That - Paul Randolph

Big Phil

Hmmm, ho another hmmmm .... a scratch of the head ... a slight chuckle. It seems the FA has sent us all a dummy and will be appointing Luiz Scolari as the next England Coach. A Brazilian, a native Portuguese speaker, no problem communicating with Rooney and Beckham there then. Just ignore them, that's what I'd do. It does seem a little odd though. All along there's been a call for an English (British) manager. There are no stand out candidates, hence your Curbishleys, your Allardyces and your McClarens. But hey, what a kick in the teeth for these guys. Quite rightly picked up by Mark Hughes. What's the top job on offer for an English manager? Well it should be the England Manager/ Coaches position. But this is now off the page. Could you see Brazil, or Italy or Spain appointing a non national? Nope, just us.

The question of the day are why are people so strange? I was out last night on a works doo, a sort of meeting stroke bonding doo with a small pool contest. We had pre booked 2 tables as you would. You then end up with people trying to get on to the table everytime you go to take a drink or just need a pish. You tell them once, you tell them a thousand times, it's booked we are having a competition. But oh no. They moan they bitch ... it's great in the City.

The kitchen nears completion. I'll be sure to stick a few pics up once it is.

Oh and I missed teh Apprentice, and Syed got booted off. I'll just have to remember to watch next Tuesday, or invest in Sky Plus.

My tune of the day: Friends From Rio - Vera Cruz

Professionals ...

I've just been sent this. It's surprising how crap some footballers actually are. This reminds me of Jeff at his best. Although Jeff would have done it from 30 yards.

Then again you could watch this. It's Ice Hockey, and it doesn't look like much at first glance, but watch it in slow mo ... I hope this is what Graeme will be up to now.

I bumped in to Al McDowall this mroning. It's definately a few years since I saw him, he looks exactly the same.

There were a plethora of wheely bags on the train this morning. It seems people must be going away for the Bank Holiday weekend. I've just realised that the Boat party is usually this weekend. But Orrins put it back to the end of May bank holiday. I could have done with a blow out this weekend.

It's Tedmundos birthday on Saturday and so a meal before the Blackburn game is in hand. It's the last home game of the season, and I would have to say what a season it's been. NOT!!!!

My tune of the day: Direct Me - Reese Project

Blogger, blogger, blogger

Well there you go. It's never easy doing this stuff. I tried to load yesterdays up, but couldn't do it until this morning, and now I'm having difficulty loading todays up. It must be all those bloggers, blogging all at once.

I had one of them journeys today. Quite packed, then some muppett kept yawning, but not putting his hand over his mouth. If he breathed out stale air once he did it ten times. It's all about manners. There was the obligatory bag on the inside seat man on the train as well, and he was given a short, sharp reality check when a 20 stoner sat next to him. The look on his face was a picture.

It's May bank holiday on Monday and I'm still wearing a scarf to work. It's damn cold in the mornings. It's been wet as well today, with a dampness in the air. Roll on Southport.

Hopefully the kitchen is in the middle of being decorated. I've only been waiting 3 weeks to get it done. Don't ask your mates to do it!!!! I just hope the turquoise is to my liking.

My tip of the day is try some wild rice ... It's actually quite good.

My tune of the day: Tears/How Long - Frankie Knuckles & Satoshi Tomiie/Essence

Run rabbit ...

I only have admiration for the peeps that do the London marathon. I would have to say wild dogs would not drag me round that course. 26 point something miles ... that's why buses were invented. I would say however, that I think a lot of people were stupid in allowing Jade Goody to start and run as far as she did. Then again maybe they had their own agendas.

So the last 10 game syndrome has finally started down at the Valley. Some stupid sods would have paid to go to the Reebok, including Vince no doubt. I was there last season when we got stuffed, so I wasn't going to put myself through that again.

West Ham got to the Cup Final. It just goes to show what you can do with average players, and reiterates what a shower of shite we really are. If Alan Curbishley can be England Manager so can I. The difficulty is deciding that Thomas Myhre is playing badly. He let that freekick in against Boro, threw the ball in against Bolton, give Anderson the last two games. What was the point in playing Perry aginst Bolton? We all know how they play, so we should have played Fortune. There's no point in bleeting about it after the event.

The new Doctor Who!!!!! It's absolute crap. It's not even funny now, and the gay wolf on Saturday was lame in it's entirety.

I've had a day from hell at work today. The realisation that you are dealing with idiots brings it home to you.

My tune of the day: Bring Me Love - Copyright & Imaani

Keys

Why do blokes wear bunches of keys hanging from their trousers?

Oh and wear a mobile phone clipped onto their belts?

My tune of the day: The Harder they come - Jimmy Cliff

Pearls of wisdom

Page three of the Sun .... not just your 18 year old set of large mamaries. Oh no ... this morning we are greeted by the headline "Hal: My hell as a black" It goes on to say how Halle Berry has told how she wanted to be cured of being black when she was a child. She wished a pill could have turned her white. Right then ... where do I start? Who do you think Halle told this little insight to? A Sun reporter? I doubt it. Looking deeper into it, why would a little black gal in the 60's think like that? Not so much as civil unrest as keeping the black man down. They're doing it now with the the local elections. Where are the Panthers when I need to vote?

What a difference a week makes eh??? Viduka and Southgate are out of Boros UEFA Cup Semi tonight. Couldn't have been last week could it.

I'm still bunged up with this Man Cold. I'm still sweating and sniffling.

So I caught some of the Arsenal game. Why comes to mind?

Oh ... I'm attending a research workshop on ebay this evening. How I get myself into this stuff is beyond me. But it looks like 3 hours of talking about Ebay. I think they will require negaitive vibes about the site. Apart from the odd schyster I have to agree with Jammybob about there being too much stuff on there. There's only so many odd socks one man can purchase.

My tune of the day: Sleep Walk - Joe & Everyday People

Good idea

Home alone. I had the day off work today, my first sick day in about 5 years. I knew I was onto a loser when I fell asleep on the 5:54 from Cannon Street last night.

I'm Lemsipped up to the max.

Now I read Jimmineees comment about a summer barbaque and garden clearing party .... now that sounds like a good idea .... watch this space.

My tune of the day: Cadillac - Raheem DeVaughan

Summer cold ...

I'm sitting here shivering, sweating and feeling down right horrid. I've taken Beechams, Lemsip, Nurofen ... but so what. I'm eating fruit but want a curry. Summer colds, not big and not bleedin clever.

I was going on a 3 week fitness frenzy starting today but this cold has put paid to that. TBC will have to wait.

Luckily I didn't venture to Foolham on Saturday. It was a right ol dinddong according to SirJimminnyBibblebob. The Pompey game wasn't much better but at least we won. Isn't that the bee all and end all? With a bit of skilly la thrown in. Oh maybe it's just me then.

I had a lovely afternoon over Tottenham way on Friday. Lunch/ dinner with some friends ... Asparagus Fritatas, Salmon and fennel, Chocolate and Pear tart ... rock on. It's funny the old entertaining malarky .... I should do it a bit more often as well.

My tune of the day: Ble Black Jack w/ Shuggie Otis -Mos Def

Oh well

There it goes for another year. At least I'll have the Cup Final weekend to weed my garden, and not have to traipse up to Brum on a Sunday evening.

It was a bit of a weird day. A 1950's train (although we did get into the VIP big seats on the way up there), Ted and Emilys first Northern away game, a feeble team performance (not surprising) and Kings X as dead as a doodoo at 2:30 in the morning.

With regards to Jonathan Spector, what is the point. He won't get a game for Man U and shouldn't get a game for Charlton. He is what you call in the trade, crap. Without being disrespectfull he doesnt bring anything to the table, he's slow, labourious, tactically inept ... and that's in the warm up.

You know what ...

My tune of the day: Dreamer - Nikki Lawrence

It's a long day

Up at 6:30 to drive over to Charlton ... just in case. I left the car over there so when I get the coach back from Kings X, I can jump in and go home as oppossed to trying to hail a cab. There will be 800 people crammed into Valley Cabs at 4 oclock in the morning. Not a pretty sight.

To answer the questions ... yes 27, yes Tupac ... and yes the tourists in Barca had big rucksacks and yawned with their mouths open. What that's all about I do not know?

I suppose one mans yawn is another mans stifle. One mans rucksack is anothers holiday. But do you have to do it on my train ... in my face?????

I was upgraded to Business Class on the return from Barca. Redirected as well from Heathrow to Gatwick. My brother now tells me that I should have received about a hundred notes in compo. Blimey, the things you find out.

Chantelle and Preston are getting married. Move on.

My tune of the day: Hold yourhead up high - Inaya Day

THAT GRIND STONE

Right ... it's pishing down with rain, it's cold and I'm 27. Happy days.

3 days in Barcelona isn't exactly enough time. I got to do the Gaudi and Picasso stuff ... saw the Camp Nou (disappointed) sat on the beach, had a look in Zara home, and drank loads of Sangria. Thre was still a long list of places and things I wanted to see, so I'll have to go back. Luckily I didnt have to go on a tourist bus, bloody tourists.

It's the Boro match tomorrow. It's a 12:30 meet to catch the football special. With it being a football special it will have crap facilities. I can see it now. No sandwiches, or water ... being held outside Darlington as they turn the track around. At least the journey home will be good ... **shakes his head**.

It's easter weekend. I have a lunch at Keeleys Friday, and then a long relaxing weekend. I hope you have a good one.

My tune of the day: Loyal to the game - tUPAC

Sunny holiday

I'll be leaving on a jet plane in a few hours .... well a small version of one anyway. My first time on mainland Spain. I don't count Ibiza and Tennerife.

I had the lamb chops last night although they are repeating somewhat.

I'm missing the Everton game so hoping I get a good text Saturday afternoon!!!!

Won't be waiting around though ....

My tune of the day: Sandcastles - Dennis Ferrer and Jerome Sydenham

Happy Birthday

This one was down to the boss. A nice strawberry tart from M&S.

Get down ...















27, I can't believe it ... time flies. I actually got some Euros to spend in Barca and a hammock this morning. All I need now is two trees.

The sun is shinning, horray. I'm having lamb chops tonight from Lahores.

My tune of the day: Stomp - Rosie Gaines

The Gym

It's a strange old thing. I'm back into the swing of it right now, and enjoyed an hour of Body Attack this lunchtime. It was Body Max yesterday and TBC on Monday. I'll get there eventually when I stop eating crisps.

However it does surprise me the amount of people who go but don't really put the work in. Half way through the Body Max class as I'm trying to keep the bicep reps going I noticed two women chatting away. They were curling the exquivalent of an envelope, no sweat no tears ... what's the point. Today as I walked towards my class I notice three women sitting on the excercise bikes. Each of them reading a paper!!!!! All that was missing was the berret a basket and a french stick. If you go to the gym work it. That's the whole point.

It's good to get back in the groove after a few months off just before Christmas, but I think I need to actually slow down a wee bit. Maybe do 4 days instead of 5. Just thinking out loud.

I've just booked the train and plane up to Southport in May. Hopefully the weather will be good. There's a Chuff Chuff in Blackpool on the Sunday night. Nuff said.

My tune of the day: Over and over - Sylvester

Twenty two years ...

Can you believe I was 5 when the greatest Soul Singer EVER was shot dead!!!!!!! Time does indeed fly. It's dawned on me that you are a long time dead .... so enjoy life, infact Choose Life.

I'm looking forward to Barcelona on Friday. It's hotter than it is here ... so I may have to take flip-flops. I want to see this.

It's Bibbobs birthday today, he's lost 3 stone in 7 months by eating cabbage. I don't want any of his birthday cake.

It seems like Don from the cricket club got married. Congratulations are in order there, but I'm not sure when you know that this would be the "one"!!!!!

I'm also looking to go to Lahores on Thursday. I did consider Tayyabs but Mush said Lahores has better starters. The lamb chops are exquisit.

Blimey, I've just had a text to say the Boro match is a sellout. Unbelievable that on a Wednesday night 5000 of us will be let down ooop North.

My tune of the day: Ain't nothing like the real thing - Marvin Gaye 

High ho ...

I'd like to give a big shout out to Smudge who got me a ticket for the free train this morning. Operation Riverside is in full effect. It's turned into a 4 hour dry train journey though, which could be a bind. Oh well, a book of crosswords and a Sony Walkman will help.

After paying 30 notes for the shite at West Ham yesterday I nearly knocked Boro on the head. It was total pants and both Big Bent and Inspector Spector were inept. I just feel sorry for Little Bent who can't do it all himself. It was fun to see Konchesky try and give it in a sort of "I don't care" sort of way but he is quoted as the Chicken Run quickly drowned them out!!!!! I must of missed that bit. I remember when the est Ham Chicken Run was full of bald balloon heads. Yesterday it was full of puss from spotty herberts.

I watched Bullet Boy over the weekend. Quick a dark, harrowing film made within the BBC remit. It was better than I thought it would be. It's another that I would recommend.

Ended up in Pizza Express on Saturday afternoon. That was after finding a parking space. I always forget how overly priced their food is, that is until the bill turns up.

It's now only 4 days until a trip to Barcelona. In fact this will be my first ever trip to Spain, taking away the Canary Islands. I'm practicing my "Holas".

My tune of the day: Holiday - Roy Ayres